Baby Blunder
by Phoenix13
Summary: 2009 Movieverse POST Egypt - Optimus Prime experiences the trials of human and Transformer reproduction. Mpreg, slash, non-explicit adult stuff. Optimus PrimexUltra Magnus. Ch9 Optimus Prime and Sarah Lennox have a chat about babies.
1. Chapter 1

**Baby Blunder**

**(Written and produced by Phoenix13, from a creative idea in collaboration with Borath)**

Authors Note: As you may (or may not!) have discovered already, this fanfic will have some very human concepts of reproduction, experienced by - and involving - the Transformers. I can't explain further without spoiling the plot. If this idea offends you or you just don't agree with robots having human type functions, fair warning, please do not read this. Thanks! For everyone else, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers.

**Chapter 1**

_**NEST base, Diego Garcia, summertime, late morning...**_

Major Will Lennox came running flat out from the NEST Operations hangar, practically flying at top speed across the tarmac. He was still racing along like a maniac when he flew past Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus who were coming back from a field exercise on the other side of the island. Seeing Lennox running like crazy was not a surprise, in battle he was a quick sprinter and he exercised most days by jogging around the base first thing in the morning wearing nothing but tiny shorts – what was different now was the look of panic on his face.

The tall broad form of Ultra Magnus slowed his walking strides to take in the sight of the human Major panting and racing his way to the human residential quarters; the man was all flying feet, sweat, and yells of panic to get out of his way.

Will flailed his arms at some NEST members who were slow at giving him room - "Move, move!!" - ducking and swerving like a mad man to reach his objective.

"Does he need to empty his bladder?" Magnus asked sincerely, not conveying the slightest touch of humor in his voice, however there was no doubt he meant his comment to be taken lightly. The huge newly-arrived mech had studied the behaviour, physiology and anatomy of the humans species in an attempt to better understand his new allies; to analyse their strengths and weaknesses on the battlefield. Despite their minute size, humans were an intelligent species who thought carefully about the impact of their own actions on their world, and others around them.

"No," Optimus chuckled, lowering his head and looking in the direction Will had disappeared to as the door to the human quarters slammed shut, his sensors telling him that the man had reached his room and was ripping off his clothes and throwing himself into the shower. "Lennox's mate is about to arrive, all communications point to her arriving in twelve point six nine minutes time. She is early. He wishes to cleanse himself and dress smartly for her arrival, for he is determined not to disappoint her with his physical condition. Presentation is very important to him."

"Ah," Magnus nodded his head wisely with a slight smile, "I see. It is never a wise thing to anger one's female with untidy presentation."

Optimus Prime's processor thought back at lightning speed over all the encounters he had ever experienced with females – be they Cybertronian, human, or otherwise – and agreed with him, saying gravely, "Yes, very much so..."

Several months ago, Lennox had proudly informed the Autobots (after informing the necessary NEST staff) that he was about to be a father for the second time. Sarah – his wife – was expecting their second child.

"Sarah is expecting again," Will announced proudly to his alien friends, with Ironhide standing over him protectively as he always did. "I can't believe it! I'm twice blessed! What did I do to be so lucky?"

"Survive being nearly gutted by Scorponok?" Ironhide suggested gruffly with a rough smile, his cannons making humming noises in their mounts.

Sergeant Epps patted his friend on the head, laughed at Lennox trying to bat his hand away, then held his hand out for a manly shake, using his superior muscles to squeeze the hand much too hard and make Will scream, "You're the man, boss. Congrats to you both."

Optimus wondered how Lennox could speak around the humongous grin on his face. "Congratulations, Major. Please convey my deepest happiness to your mate as well. This is wonderful news."

Ultra Magnus nodded agreeably from his place at Prime's side, "Yes, congratulations, you are indeed blessed. I am continually amazed at how easily your species reproduces." The black and blue mech looked wistfully up at the sky towards Cybertron, "If only ours was so fortunate..."

"Thanks guys," Will was on the verge of blushing, an act foreign to him.

"Expecting?" Sideswipe lifted both of his optic ridges curiously, trying to figure out why someone expecting something was cause for such celebration. The silver mech glanced around at the other Autobots. "Expecting what?"

"A baby human, Sideswipe. Lennox's sparkmate is pregnant," Ironhide informed him with bright optics and no trace of his usual macho grumpiness. The Weapons Specialist was as proud as if he'd sired the unborn baby himself. Lennox's family was important to him – as important as his Autobot family.

"Pregnant..." Sideswipe muttered, bowing his head while he zip searched the internet. Finally understanding, he snapped his head back up. "OH! Yes! Carrying! That is wonderful!" He looked down at Lennox, "That is how you made Annabel! She came out of your mate's stomach!"

Major Lennox winced visibly at Sarah being compared to something from the 'Aliens' movies where horrible creepy things ripped themselves out of her body. "Not... _quite_ that way, 'Sides."

Ratchet sighed, put one hand on Sideswipe's shoulder strut and shoved. Hard. "Think before you open your mouth, youngling!" The medic gestured at a stunned Lennox, "Please forgive him, Major. Some of us-" Ratchet punctuated his words with a hearty bitch slap to the back of Sideswipe's head, getting a loud 'Oww' out of him, "- do not think before we speak."

" A sparkling! We're gettin' a sparkling, bro!" Mudflap excitedly smacked his twin in the shoulder, giving Lennox the thumbs up.

Skids huffed, folding his arms and looking away with his noseplates in the air, "Not in mah trunk!"

It had been arranged in a spectacular display of co-ordination between the American government and NEST (actually, Optimus had used a great deal of his own influence to broker the deal) to have Sarah and Annabel come to Diego Garcia to live until the new baby was born. Sarah had been pleased, she was killing three birds with one stone; getting a mock holiday (which she sorely needed after spending so much time raising Annabel by herself due to Will's commitments), spending time with her husband, and finally meeting ALL of the Autobots she had heard so much about.

After all the negotiations had been completed, Sarah was now four months pregnant and showing the beginnings of a large belly. The tough but kind-hearted woman had been cleared to fly on a military plane to reach Diego Garcia. She would be staying at the base in a building currently be modified to house her – and 'modified' did not merely mean a comfortable bed and lodgings – at Ironhide's direction the Autobots were installing blast proof shielding and self defence armaments to it, in case of Decepticon attack. The base was known to the Decepticons since Soundwave discovered the Allspark shard there, and no one had any doubts that the base would one day be under attack again. Hence the fortification.

Now that Sarah and Annabel's military plane was about to land, Optimus Prime halted at the edge of the runway tarmac and turned his optics skywards. Ultra Magnus stopped beside him, also glancing up at the sky for the plane. The two tall metallic beings made their human surroundings look like Legoland.

"Let's wait here for the arrival, Magnus," Optimus said leisurely, linking his hands behind his back and settling his weight on his thick feet. "It will be nice to greet an arrival that has nothing to do with war or the government, yes?"

The taller mech's faceplates expressed hesitation. "Of course. But this is too close to the landing site. We should move back."

"We'll be fine. They won't hit us," the Autobot Commander assured him, shaking his head. Magnus was a worry-bot and over-protective.

Ultra Magnus wasn't going to let the matter rest there. He was worried for his mate. As Cybertronians they were pretty much invulnerable, but getting hit by a huge plane; like getting whacked in the face by the broad wing; was still going to hurt big time and dent their armor – and the humans would whine about the damage to their expensive craft. "If the plane comes close to you, I will be yanking you backwards by your antennae, Prime. Just see if I don't."

"...and I have no doubt you would do just that, Magnus," Optimus responded with a chuckle, sending a hefty dose of amusement to his mate over their sparklink.

Ultra Magnus rolled his optics with a light grumble and positioned himself carefully just behind the shorter mech's shoulder, within grabbing distance of the mech he loved more than anything else in the universe.

It had surprised the humans to find out that the pair were spark-mated, they had assumed (wrongly) that with the arrival of the three Autobot femmes, the mechs in the Autobot ranks would pick one femme each as a girlfriend and that was that. Not so. When Ultra Magnus had landed one night on the island as per his arrangement with Optimus and signalled his intention to enter the base, they had been stunned to see a mech who could very well be Optimus Prime's twin. Although taller, a touch broader, and with optics that were covered by rectangular sapphire sunglasses-like lenses so no one could tell where he was looking, Ultra Magnus was strikingly similar in design and looks to his beloved mate. He had scanned a Mack truck in his comet form in his flight over the United States before he landed, ending up as a black, blue, and silver semi-rig bearing flames in the same style as Prime's – except instead of red and blue colors, Magnus' armor bore a black background with blue flames outlined in silver.

While at first Optimus and Magnus had been careful (and still were) with any PDA's around the humans, it had been Lennox who had accidentally discovered the pair in the supply hangar several weeks ago doing something blatantly sensual. A brooding Ultra Magnus had backed up his mech mate to the wall in a dark corner inside the building, and was keeping him pinned there with his slim hips holding him in place while he had one hand behind Prime's neck, the other hand stroking the panels of his chest, and was busy with his mouth components on the side of Optimus' stretched and vulnerable neck. All of this left the big Prime in a groaning writhing mess under the bigger male.

A stuttering and stunned Lennox had stopped moving. Dumped his armful of supplies. Turned around. Walked out - and confided all to Ironhide in a hysterical conversation that resulted in Ironhide merely nodding and saying an eloquent, "Ah."

While NEST command had never officially been told of the 'love status' of the giant Autobot Commander and his equally huge partner – nor did they care a whole lot as long as their official duties were not affected – the humans had slowly become accustomed to the fact that 1) Optimus Prime had a husband, and 2) the 'husband' was Ultra Magnus, a mech bigger than he was and with more firepower than Ironhide.

"Here comes the plane..." Optimus Prime said calmly as the belly-heavy C-17 began to drop down its wheels and prepare for a landing. Magnus' hand hovered behind the head of his sparkmate. He had not been joking about yanking the Commander out of harms way by his 'ears'. Better to have his pride hurt than have his whole head smashed in.

"...and here comes Lennox," Optimus continued, his mouthplates quirking up at the Major dashing over to stand in his shadow and stand panting (it was approaching boiling point on the tarmac in the sun) while the plane roared downwards. "Nice of you to join us, Will," Prime loudly told the man with a smile.

Lennox was fully decked out in his parade uniform – funny hat, stiff suit, glittering buttons; the whole enchilada. He was going to die in the heat and become a puddle on the tarmac, but he did not care one iota. He looked good and Sarah would be impressed. That was all that mattered.

Magnus' sensors twitched. He sniffed, looked confused, then glanced down at Prime. He opened his internal comlink. :: His scent has changed.::

Optimus bent his head back to look up at him. ::Perfume. It signals a human's intention to engage in intimate activities with his mate.::

::Oh.:: Ultra Magnus perked up, stood looking thoughtful for a moment, then smirked and discretely trailed one finger down Prime's back armor. :: Perhaps I should get some of that too, hmm?::

Optimus choked and sent a swift expression of astoundment to his mate. If robots could blush, Prime's face would be the same color as his vibrant red armor. ::I do not need yet more excuses to be intimate with you. My control is stretched to the limit as it is!::

::Thought so...:: Ultra Magnus sent back indulgently, languidly crossing his arms over his thick chest and appearing nonchalant. Magnus wasn't the most expressive mech in the universe. The subtleties of his mannerisms that revealed what he was thinking were easily read by Optimus Prime but not by many other Autobots. He was considered similar to Prowl in that respect.

Further conversation was halted by the plane roaring past them for a landing. Magnus twitched his fingers threateningly behind Prime's head – Optimus himself feeling quite safe since he knew the wings of the plane would clear him by several feet. His huge metallic body didn't flinch or tighten as the plane swept past.

The other soldiers of NEST; particularly those that were close friends with Lennox; began assembling on the tarmac with the smartly dressed Major while they all waited for the plane to taxi to the hangar. Epps had changed out of his sweaty clothes and while he wasn't dressed in his 'smart' clothes, he was wearing his best NEST casual uniform and special hat. All of them waited while the C-17 rolled to a stop and moments later the passenger door on its side opened.

"DADDY~!"

A small five-year-old girl dressed in a red dress with smart white shoes on her feet came hopping and jumping down the lowered steps.

"Annabel!" Will laughed, watching his little girl leave the last step and practically jump into his arms. He hugged his squirming bundle of joy to his chest, delighted to see her and full of love.

The Autobot pair looked on. Magnus was most interested to get a close-up inspection of the sub-adult human female. He had been informed that the humans were very prolific with their breeding and reaching the point of becoming a burden on their own planet through sheer numbers. This was a situation alien to the Transformers. Cybertron had not felt the patter of a sparkling's footsteps for millennia. His optics stayed locked on every movement the human sparkling made. Pondering.

Annabel hugged her father's neck, planted a kiss on his cheek and then demanded to be put down. "Down, daddy. Down now!"

Will complied and set her down, a little puzzled, straightening her messed-up dress as he did so, "Why? Don't you like hugging me anymore...?"

Annabel didn't reply, instead she raced past him and the other men. She totally ignored the imposing presence of both Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus, running between the two massive bots while they watched her carefully. She instead kept going to her objective, and ran straight up to her target, then began ecstatically hugging the leg of the one Autobot she loved more than any other.

"IRONHIDE!"

The big black menacing Weapons Specialist froze in place with the tiny human perched on the arch of his left foot strut, terrified as always of hurting the little human. The girl had her arms around his leg and her whole body pressed into his armor with a magnificent smile of pure love on her face. Ironhide looked up at Optimus Prime with a stricken expression. He wasn't used to his fellow soldiers witnessing this display of affection. With everyone staring in disbelief at him and the girl, he stumbled over an explanation, "Um... we're friends, she's my, uh, friend. Annabel."

"Say hello to her, Ironhide," Optimus directed him with an indulgent smile, while the humans and Autobots combined began laughing. Will had slapped a hand to his face and was groaning. He'd been one-upped by Ironhide-the-Terrible for his daughter's affections. Apparently she liked walking talking robotic tin cans with big guns more than she liked her own father.

"Greetings Annabel," Ironhide extended a careful finger and ever-so-gently patted the little girl's back, his optics softening with tenderness, "did you have a good flight?"

"YES! We had jelly and ice-cream, but Mom threw up her ice-cream, the new baby didn't like it, and I got to play Retro Pacman with a soldier, and I watched a movie, and I-" the girl talked on and on and on.

Annabel rattled off everything she had or hadn't done on the flight to the base, while Ironhide nodded at appropriate intervals and made approving sounds. His optics never left the precious bundle attached to his foot. While the black mech appeared very put-out at having the girl hanging onto his lower leg strut, he also failed to stop a slow but growing smile appearing on his faceplates as he paid intricate attention to everything she said. His affection and love for the human girl was boundless, no one could fault him at that, the problem was that it made him uncomfortable to have his fearsome reputation as a hard-aft shredded into tatters in front of the other Autobots and NEST personnel.

"Yep, that's my boy," Epps drawled, standing next to an open-mouthed Lennox, "the biggest damn baby-sitting kick-aft robot this side of the Milky Way."

Having left Annabel blabbering non-stop with Ironhide, Lennox was helping (or trying to) his very pregnant wife down the steps from the plane.

"Will, I'm okay, don't fuss, I do know how stairs work. Being pregnant doesn't mean I have forgotten."

While Sarah was only four months pregnant, her belly was quite pronounced and round. She took the stairs one at a time and with care while ignoring her husbands out-stretched arm. She reached the ground and sighed with relief, reaching round to the small of her back with the palms of her hands and rubbing her sore spots. It took her a second to realise there was a giant robot within touching distance of her blocking her way. She KNEW they were friendly robots, but her instincts were telling her to be terrified and run.

"Um, Will?" she asked nervously, staring at the greenish-yellow robot.

Ratchet was waiting for her, bracing himself on one knee on the ground and running scans without asking. "Hello Sarah Lennox, my name is Ratchet, I am the Chief Medical Officer for the Autobots, and Co-medical officer for NEST." He paused while he interpreted his scans. Sarah looked up at him speechlessly, blinking.

"Ah, you have been purging on the plane. This explains your pale skin and bad breath, and your bowels also show signs of mild diarrhoea." Ratchet made a clicking noise, "Do not be alarmed, the two often occur together when pregnant human females are experiencing hormonal sickness – morning sickness is the slang, I believe. All of this has left you moderately dehydrated. I can administer some approved meds to relieve your symptoms at the same time as I give you an IV drip feed, or you may wish to use a suppository – an anal tablet - to avoid the use of a needle. I know organics are often wary of them. Your choice."

Stunned silence reigned. The humans gaped like fishes and the Autobots bore expressions of TMI.

Optimus Prime sighed and rubbed at his forehead, muttering. He marched forwards determinedly, took Ratchet by the arm, and pulled him to his feet, moving him backwards and ignoring the bot's resistance, "Ratchet, perhaps your diagnosis and treatment can wait until you and Lennox's sparkmate have some privacy in the medical bay, yes?"

Ratchet twittered his optic sweepers at him. "But-"

"No, Ratchet," Optimus said firmly.

The medic crossed his arms and looked affronted. His mouthplates opened to say something but he was stalled by Optimus Prime pointing a stiff finger at him warningly and glaring a silent 'don't you dare' in his direction.

"I think this is going to be an interesting stay..." Epps said quietly behind Will and Sarah.


	2. Chapter 2

**Baby Blunder**

Authors Note: I forgot to put warnings in the story summary and the previous authors note! My bad! This will contain slash, mpreg, and non-explicit adult situations. I'm still deciding on the specifics for my Autobot symbol tattoo. Movie version, original version, what colors (if any) and where to put it – shoulder, chest or back. Hmmm... choices, choices. :-)

**Chapter 2**

Just before dawn, Optimus Prime awoke from recharge on his back, staring at the ceiling of the room he and Ultra Magnus occupied in the Autobot hangar. His sparkmate was still recharging, his head resting on his shoulder, one thick arm across his Commander's broad chest, completely out to it. The combination of his flaming color scheme with Magnus' striking armor over the top warmed his spark, as always. Seeing the huge black and blue mech in such a tender and vulnerable moment made him chuckle. Ultra Magnus tried so hard to project a confident, quiet, and in-control persona about himself, when really, he lacked any belief in his own abilities and looked to Optimus for guidance and support. It always struck Prime mute that such a huge and powerful mech could feel so humble about himself and nurse a self-esteem smaller than Sam's dog, Mojo.

Prime decided it was time to be up and about, so he carefully began lifting and pushing the bigger mech off his body so he could leave the berth and get the day started. Magnus grumbled but consented to being moved from his comfy position. While Optimus always rose early – he was, as the humans said, a 'morning bot' – Magnus took any chance he could get to stay upon the berth and recharge. He was the opposite of Prime - a 'night bot'.

The previous day had been hectic with helping Major Lennox settle his sparkmate into her new lodgings. She had bravely met all of the Autobots. The three femmes; Arcee, Chromia and Flareup; had hit it off instantly with the human woman and her tiny offspring, all of them promising to be at her service whenever she required something that Will was too busy or unable to give. A situation something like Ironhide had with the family as protector, where the femmes were declaring to be at Sarah's private service, and Annabel's, by extension.

Optimus paused and sat upon the edge of the berth, wincing at a sudden pain in his chest. He leaned forwards, pressing a hand to where his armor split across his front between the two halves of his front windscreen. He wasn't too worried about it. He and Magnus had spark-merged last night after a playful bout of interfacing, his pleasure circuits were still tingling many Earth hours after the event. They had really gone at it. Their hands had been all over each other, mouths finding spots on each others throats and chests to bite at wires and cables, armor retracted or removed and dropped on the floor over the edge of the berth - moans, gasps and whimpers had come freely from both of them...

He distinctly remembered at the end being pinned on his back with his hands held down while Magnus had free range over his heated body, his red and blue chestplates open so his throbbing spark was completely bare and ready for use.

It was a wonder no one had roared at them to keep it down.

That was the advantage of having a mech mate, Prime mused, he never had to worry about using too much strength and breaking or hurting Ultra Magnus. The mech was as strong or stronger (in certain ways) than he was. No delicacy required. Optimus had been with a handful of femmes before joining up with Magnus, and while it had been pleasurable, he had chafed at the fact that he kept himself locked down to avoid causing injury to them.

He closed his optic covers and shuddered involuntarily with a smile, remembering. It was no big deal that he often had a a few twinges around his spark casing the morning afterwards. As long as it did not interfere with his or Magnus' duties, he never denied himself or Magnus a chance to express their love for one another while there was a welcome lull in Decepticon activity.

The big mech didn't like to admit it, but he was also getting old. Vigorous activity of any kind tended to produce a few aches in his chassis.

::Are you up yet?::

The sudden chatter of his internal comlink broke Prime out of his reverie. His CMO wasn't fond of overblown formalities or idle chit-chat. ::I am. Good morning to you too, Ratchet.::

From the other end of the comlink, Ratchet harrumphed. ::Sarah Lennox has been purging her stomach since three am this morning. I will be staying with her until she stops. Dr Wilson is also with us.::

Still rubbing his chest, Optimus nodded, ::I have no problem with that. Please take good care of Sarah, pass along my sympathies and keep me updated.::

Ratchet didn't reply, merely cutting the link with a grunt that Prime took to mean 'Thank you very much, Sir'. Optimus noted that his CMO had been literally running to aid Dr Wilson – the base doctor – whenever Sarah was seeking medical attention. It was becoming common to see Ratchet nearly sprinting across the tarmac in great strides to reach Sarah when he was called. The mech was not going to give up any time he had with the pregnant female, he was intent on gathering any first-hand information he could get from the woman; both from the point-of-view that he sincerely wished to help her, but also the fact that he may never get the chance to study first-hand a pregnant human woman like this again.

"...what's wrong with your chest...?"

Optimus straightened up stiffly. Magnus was awake and kneeling behind him, leaning over his shoulder to watch him rub at his chest plating.

"Nothing. Just age." Prime dismissed his concern.

The large silver hand of his mate came to rest gently on his wrist, the thumb stroking the top of his hand. Magnus' optics focused on him from behind his rectangular lens shields. "It isn't nothing, I can feel the echoes of it. You're hurting. Did I... hurt you last night?"

"No! No. I told you. It's age." Optimus patted Magnus' hand with his and stood up, breaking away from contact with the other mech. "Think nothing of it."

Ultra Magnus gave him a scrutinising look. "I'll think nothing of it when it stops hurting. Go and see Ratchet."

Prime glanced at him with a small smile, admiring the immense hunk of sexy mech on his berth. "Don't you have duties this morning?"

"No, not until later," Magnus shook his head, then he fell sideways, rolled over indulgently and pillowed his head on one arm, sighing, "plenty of time to recharge yet... and I'll have more time later to drag your aft to the medbay, too."

Rolling his optics at him, Optimus left the room. Exiting the hangar, he looked momentarily in the direction of the medical building.

"You heard it too, huh?"

Optimus looked down and to his right, meeting the gaze of Sargent Epps. The man was dressed in his fatigues trousers but his chest was bare. A mild grin split his face.

"About Sarah Lennox from Ratchet? Yes, I did," Optimus rumbled.

"Heh," Epps lifted a beefy arm and ran his hand over his head, "I didn't hear nothing from Ratchet. I know about it because Will gave me orders to cover for him this morning at four am. He's not leaving her side. Seems poor Sarah has a very bad case of the chucks."

Prime blinked his optic shutters at Epps casual language. Bumblebee was so much better at interpreting human slang than he was. "The 'chucks'?"

"Oh, er... vomiting." Epps motioned with his hand from his chest, up his throat and to his mouth, "bringing up food. Our women do that a lot when they're pregnant."

"I am familiar with vomiting," Prime half-smiled, "we refer to it as purging, and our femmes have been known to do likewise when they are carrying."

Epps appeared stunned. "What, really? You're kidding! Yours too?! I didn't think, I mean, you're, uh, you know..." he gestured up and down at Prime's body.

Optimus lifted one optic ridge, "Metal?"

"Yeah!"

The big Prime cocked his head, "I believe the rudimentary basics of your reproduction methods matches ours in many ways. Our femmes also produce offspring by combining with a mech."

Epps couldn't speak. _Optimus_ was freely spouting information about what his species did for producing babies? Heck, he didn't want to interrupt!

"When a femme carries, her systems can become flooded with too many processes and signals happening at once, leading to the internal tanks ejecting unprocessed energon in distress." He glanced once more at the medical hangar, "In the same way that Sarah's body is doing to her, unfortunately."

"Oh yeah," Epps sighed, "I'm so freaking glad it's the women of both our species doing the 'carrying' bit. Speaking for myself – and probably for you too – chucking, having mood swings, all that pain, and being fat too," the man held his hands out to demonstrate a big belly, "ain't something I want to go through."

"I completely agree," Prime tried to keep the smirk off his face, "if the mech's of our races had to carry, our population sizes would be close to nil. It is a very unpleasant prospect to be carrying. Females do a much better job than we ever could."

"Women do a better job at just about everything we can do," Epps snorted, and began to walk off, "later, Optimus."

Prime tilted his head down and watched him walk off past his ankles.

"Yes, they do..." Optimus murmured, optics following the man. Almost as if on cue, his chest began to twinge again. It was an odd feeling. He felt as if his chest was too tight.

"Mr Optimus!"

Prime turned his head and smiled, Ironhide was approaching with Annabel held carefully in his palm and a weary Major Lennox keeping pace beside him. He bestowed a smile upon her.

"Hello Annabel, are you walking Ironhide again?"

"_Funny_, Optimus," Ironhide muttered, glaring.

The black mech halted next to him. Will sighed and leaned on Ironhide's foot, rubbing a hand over his face. He was tired. It was a different tired from 'battlefield' tired, his emotions were all over the place – he was worried (and a touch scared) for Sarah, he was questioning whether he had made a good decision wanting another baby with his wife when the pregnancy was putting her through hell. He'd already made the decision not to have another one, for Sarah's sake. He hadn't made that choice lightly, he loved kids, and so did she, but it was too much.

Optimus went down on one knee, looking at Will. "How is your wife, Major?"

Will winced, "Not so great. She can't keep anything down lately. Morning sickness is turning out to be all-the-time sickness." He shrugged his shoulders with resignation, "There isn't much the Doc's can do about it. She can't be given strong anti-nausea medication because it would affect the baby."

"Mom is being sick," Annabel piped up seriously from Ironhide's palm, her small hands linking themselves together in her lap. She then brightened, looking up at Optimus, "But that's because she's a girl. You're not a girl, Optimus! You can't have babies!"

"Er..." Prime looked flustered, scratching at the side of his head.

"Annabel..." Will said in a warning tone. He knew what was coming next. Unfortunately his daughter was beginning to find out things about 'boys' and 'girls' and she wasn't quiet about it. It was hard to put a filter on the innocent mouth of a five-year-old. Especially a _smart_ five-year-old.

The little girl seemed to think for a second. She looked eagerly up at him and smiled. "I'll give you a baby! You're a nice man, Optimus, you need one."

Ironhide couldn't hold himself in any longer. He turned his head to the side to chuckle and snort.

"Annabel!" Will said sharply, rapping a fist on Ironhide's ankle to get her attention. If he'd known what was coming out of her mouth next he'd have yelled louder.

Annabel's sweet face peered up at Optimus Prime hovering over her, "Do you have a penis? You should. That's what you need for a baby."

Prime didn't know what to say to that. He stayed kneeling with his mouthplates open in shock.

"_ANNABEL!!" _If Will could've screamed any louder, he would have. "Sorry Optimus! She's just beginning to learn about this stuff... Right, that's it," he held up his arms, "give her to me, Ironhide."

The black Autobot complied, gently handing her over. Will took her into his arms and marched away, warning her about saying rude words to people, and that there would be consequences. They could hear Annabel indignantly protesting, 'But it's true!'.

Optimus straightened up from his crouch on the ground. His mouthplates twitched with amusement. "Younglings... so innocent, and so straight-to-the-point."

Ironhide stared at him, expressionless. "So, do you have a penis, Optimus?" he said, absolutely deadpan. His faceplates then shifted into a grin.

The Autobot Commander gave him a filthy look, "_Some_ of us never grow out of using rude words."


	3. Chapter 3

**Baby Blunder**

**Chapter 3**

Ultra Magnus was on his side upon the recharge berth, not understanding what it was that had brought him out of recharge. His internal alarms were silent – no Decepticon attack. His comlink was quiet – no one was trying to contact him. The room itself was still and quiet. It was two am in the morning. He didn't need to look to know that Optimus was no longer stretched out beside him. He could detect his presence as missing quite easily.

Then he heard it. The very unmistakable and _loud_ icky sound of a large bot forcibly emptying their tank. Ouch. That meant two things – either Optimus was helping someone else who was sick, or, Optimus _was_ the bot being sick.

Magnus rolled off the berth, yanked open the door to his and Prime's room and took swift strides to reach the singular dark shape at the end of the hangar leaning with one hand on the wall while the other hand was clutched to the form's midsection. He recognised the shape and size of the broad armored back with silver highlights immediately.

Optimus Prime was purging his tank. And how.

Not saying anything, the black and blue mech quietly eased up to the sick mech and stood next to his mate with one arm around his waist and the other gently supporting his chest, waiting patiently for the heavy spasms rocking his mate's frame to cease. Prime had made quite a large mess on the ground before him, and his misbehaving body was still intent on adding to it. Finally, after a few minutes, Optimus was able to stand up straight. He was clutching one trembling hand over his mouthplates. His optics wide; twin glowing blue orbs stuttering on and off in the darkness. Purging was never pleasant.

"What brought this on?" Ultra Magnus asked quietly over the sound of Prime's air intakes whistling and heaving. "Did you ingest unleaded fuel instead of diesel by mistake again?"

Optimus jerked his head negatively, still unable to speak, his usually proud frame sagging. He feared that opening his mouth even for one moment would mean energon would begin pouring out of it again. He opened his internal comlink instead.

::Came out of recharge with my tank... churning.:: - Optimus relayed haltingly, his tank made prophetic gurgling sounds to back up his dialogue.

::Raced outside just in time to...:: - Prime coughed threateningly against his hand over his mouth but managed to keep down what little he had left in his tank, ::..do this.::

Echoes of the sickness Optimus was feeling drifted over the sparklink to Ultra Magnus. Primus. Optimus had it bad. What on Cybertron was happening? Maybe the impurities of the Earth fuels that they had calculated were safe to ingest, were in fact _not, _and now the cracks were beginning to show up. Magnus looked down at the mess of energon on the ground at his mate's feet and frowned, thinking. Most of it was undigested. Prime's system had hardly touched the stuff before it decided it didn't want it any more and heaved it out. He wasn't a medic, he didn't know what to make of it. He had drunk from the same batch of fuel that Optimus had, yet he felt fine. He sincerely hoped that it wasn't because his systems were slower at detecting the bad stuff than Prime's were. He did NOT want to be joining Optimus in painfully ejecting all over the ground.

Then he felt it.

The twinges of pain twisted like silver daggers over their sparklink. Prime's chest was hurting again. Magnus hissed and berated himself silently – why had he not dragged the glitching slaghead to the medbay the day before by force? Lugging him over one over-sized shoulder and balancing him on top of the missile launcher stationed there while ignoring Prime's extravagant sad-aft cursing had always worked well in the past; he should have exercised that option again. Ratchet appreciated restrained patients – they couldn't run away.

While sending an all-out alert to Ratchet, Ultra Magnus boldly picked up his mech sparkmate into his arms – recording Prime's grunt of surprise for laughing at later – and headed straight for the medical building. He hoped Sarah Lennox wasn't there already. Having the woman and Prime both purging at once wasn't a very nice thought.

The armed human soldiers on night duty patrolling the base pulled up short at seeing the Autobot Leader being carried aloft by his Field Commander across the dimly lit tarmac. They blinked, looked at each other, shrugged, and went on with their patrol. Whatever weird antics the friendly aliens got up to in the small hours of the morning wasn't really their business. Their business was _un_-friendly aliens. Decepticons.

Ratchet was ready and waiting, the lights of his medbay streaming white hot light across his benches. There was no Sarah Lennox. He stayed silent while he watched Magnus gingerly set down and unfold his very unhappy cargo onto the biggest bench. Optimus lay stiffly on his back, his hands holding tight to the edges of the bench, trying to control his urge to leap up and do some more ejecting on the floor. Dribbling down his front was not an option. He stayed uneasily on his back. His body was shivering and twisting from side to side.

"What started this?" Ratchet asked curtly, preliminary results from an on-the-move scan downloading into his CPU. He already knew it wasn't a life-or-death emergency, but Optimus Prime being sick was an emergency for the Autobots. Heck, anyone who saw the sickly mess Prime had defiled the ground in the hangar with would declare it a national emergency.

"He doesn't know, and don't stand in front of him because if he opens his mouthplates he'll eject all over you," Ultra Magnus said with a worried expression, hands on his hips. "I came out of recharge to find him outside bringing up everything in his tank."

Ratchet took a deft step sideways, his optics appraising his large patient. Optimus was putting deep dents in his new table with his squeezing fingers. It would've been obvious to anyone who wasn't a medic that the Supreme Commander of the mighty Autobot Forces was desperately trying not to projectile purge energon across the width of the medbay.

"His chest is painful," Magnus continued, tapping his own chest for emphasis, "I can feel it, it was hurting yesterday morning too. I meant to drag him in here but we got... distracted."

The CMO growled, "Yes, potentially having some sort of system-wide breakdown is always distracting, isn't it? Much better to drag the poor medic out of recharge in the stupid hours of the morning and rush in a compromised patient with purging problems."

Ultra Magnus winced, curving his large physique away from the critical CMO. "Sorry."

Optimus Prime's right leg jerked up in a spasm and then slammed back down. It was hard to tell if it was involuntary or a wild attempt to kick Ratchet in the head.

"Stay still, fragger," Ratchet turned around to access his wall cabinets, "I'm going to give you-" he cut himself off mid-sentence. Freezing. Completely. He didn't move for a whole ten seconds. Slowly; so slowly; the Hummer rotated on one heel to stare at Optimus. The mech looked straight back at him with a clamped jaw. The results from Ratchet's quick scan were now complete in his databank, and what was showing was logically impossible. Laughably impossible. Stupidly impossible. Impossibly impossible.

Reaching out with both hands, Ratchet activated both of his hand scanners at once, the blue beams strafing Optimus Prime's rigid form from the antennae tips on his head, down to the points of his thick silver feet. Twice. Again, Ratchet waited. Again, the same results came back. The CMO stared at Optimus, literally struck dumb for the first time in his long career as the Chief Medical Officer for Cybertron.

The Autobot Commander's holding tank gave up the fight at the same time as Ratchet shrieked at high volume, "WHY ARE YOU CARRYING A SPARKLING IN YOUR CHEST?!"

Optimus was unable to answer, he was much too busy leaning over the edge of the bench and coating Ratchet's pristine floor with the last dregs of energon in his holding tank. He'd given up the fight to keep it back. Better out than in. He was hopeful that Ratchet wouldn't demand he get off the bench and clean it up himself.

"What?!" Ultra Magnus demanded, not amused. He pointed a thick accusing finger at the medic, "This is not the time to joke, Ratchet!"

"Joke?" Ratchet spluttered, "JOKE?! I do NOT joke! Especially not when there is a _mech_," Ratchet waved a hand at Optimus – who was shakily sitting up and wiping at his mouth - "on my med bench with a fragging _sparkling_ in his chest cavity!"

Optimus Prime coughed and eyed off Ratchet weakly, "What sparkling? What are you yammering about, Ratchet, make sense, please."

"Mech's CANNOT have sparklings – they can't! No! I won't believe it!" Ratchet hammered one thick fist on the bench where Optimus was lying, making his Commander jerk away, "Impossible!"

Silence ruled the medbay at that remark. Ratchet stared at Optimus. Optimus stared back. Ultra Magnus stared blankly at both of them, back and forth. With a loud groan of defeat, Ratchet put his hands to his face.

"Optimus, congratulations, you are the proud owner of a sparkling protoform orb." Ratchet's voice was muffled. He hadn't removed his hands from his face. A suspicious sound like a strangled sob came from him. "I should be asking why, but frag it, my patients always do whatever the heck they want to do, so instead I'll ask how. _How_ did a sparkling orb come to be growing in your chest?"

"What sparkling? And where?!" Optimus demanded, sitting up on his elbows, his face shaded from the overhead lights by the bulges of his helmet armor, "I don't understand this."

"It's your chest, you better understand it," the CMO snapped, "and the only mech who has access to _your_ chest is _him_," Ratchet's thumb thrust out to jab Ultra Magnus in the shoulder armor, "which means he is the, er..." Ratchet's CPU started to splutter again, "the Sire. Uh, you're both mech's, but you can't both be the Sire, one must be the femme counterpart."

Ratchet glanced with irritation between the two huge mech's covered in thick proud armor with bulging musculature crowding his medbay. Neither of them looked the slightest bit feminine. "What the heck, you're carrying it, that means you are the femme, Optimus. Deal with it." He rubbed at his forehead tiredly, "Just like I'm trying to deal with a mech carrying a sparkling. Holy Primus, why me?"

For his part, Optimus Prime was now starting to understand what was going on. His jawplate worked up and down soundlessly like a guppy.

Magnus stared at him, "I t-t-think, um, er, Ratchet says... a sparkling. Yeah, that's it. A sparkling. IN your chest." His hand flexed back and forth in the air between them, indicating them together. "Our s-s-sparkling. In you." The black and blue mech reached out helplessly behind himself to find a chair to collapse into. Not finding one, he stumbled backwards and sagged against the wall. Stricken. "_Slag it_... this is crazy."

Optimus had started repeating softly with his optics off and head bowed, "I'm a mech, I'm a mech, I'm a mech. I am NOT a _femme_."

Ratchet was recovering from the shock of seeing a sparkling in his male Leader's chest, and was beginning to regain some of his dignity and intelligence. "If your chest hurts, at least we know why. You may have the biggest chest in the universe, Optimus, but you don't have sufficient empty space in there for the sparkling to grow comfortably. If you wish to keep it, I'll need to do some re-arranging."

Prime sat up abruptly at Ratchet's 'if you wish to keep it' remark. While his processor was reeling with the implications of a MECH carrying a sparkling; especially the said mech being him; he would NEVER – EVER – destroy a young and innocent life – the new Cybertronian life-form in his chest was staying.

"Ratchet, do not ever say those words to me again. This sparkling," Prime's fingers rapped on his chest, "is staying. I want you to do everything and anything in your power to keep it that way."

Ultra Magnus moved up next to his sparkmate, saying firmly, "I'm supporting Prime on this. The sparkling is ours, I don't wish to hear comments about not keeping it, or trying to remove it."

A slow smile crept up on Ratchet's faceplates. A smile of satisfaction. "That's what I wanted to hear from both of you. Just testing the waters on that one. Before we go any further, would you like to see it?"

"The sparkling?" Prime asked, his optics widening.

"Of course, I can show you what my scans are showing me. I also have a theory of what is happening to you, and why, but let's start with showing you two what is behind your armor."

So saying, Ratchet sent a signal to the medbay lights to dim them, and activated the image relay on his forearm, holding his arm still as a precise 3D color image began to form in mid-air in front of the two mech's. The image was at once scary and awe-inspiring as it slowly rotated in the air. It showed Optimus Prime's spark, and a smaller undefined 'lump' – about half the size of Ratchet's fist – attached to the outer casing of Prime's spark, with a core of steady electrical energy. A mini spark. Prime's inner workings showed up as translucent grey, while the sparkling and its attachments – filaments which had inserted themselves into his spark and other body systems, draining Prime's body of resources – showed as pulsing blue light, with black splotches being the growing major plates of the sparkling's slowly forming protoform body.

Optimus lifted a hand, his fingers reaching out to the image as if it were real. His fingertips passed through it. One finger traced the outlines of the lump like a caress. His face betrayed a myriad of emotions – wonder, awe, disbelief, and finally; unrestrained love. Ratchet watched Prime's intense reaction with satisfaction, taking it as further proof that Optimus was accepting what was happening to him and was focusing on the bigger issue that despite the fact he was male, he now carried a new life just as a female of his species would. A life he would protect, nurture and love with every molecule of his being.

"Magnus, look... are you seeing it?" Prime said softly. His fingers twisted as if he was trying to cup the bottom of the sparkling's mass in his palm.

"I am. It's.. incredible. We made that, we made him or her," his mate responded quietly. His hand touched Prime's as they explored the image of their sparkling together.

The response of Ultra Magnus was almost the same. While he was just as accepting of the impossibility of what was now happening, his concerns also revolved around the life of his sparkmate. He wanted to know that the lives of Optimus and the sparkling were safe, that one would not compromise the other. He and Optimus would be relying an awful lot on Ratchet to keep everything together.

The touching moment was lost when Optimus choked, slapped a hand to his mouth in an effort to contain himself, then jerked helplessly to the side and leaned down, retching once more.

Ratchet patted his back with a wry expression. He wouldn't miss this for the world. "Welcome to the joys of carrying, Optimus." He shifted one foot, "Watch the feet, not on my feet! Whoops, oh dear..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Baby Blunder**

Authors Note: The term 'spark screw' was first used by Lady Tecuma, all credit to her for that. :-) Thank you for the story alerts, favourites and reviews. This fic doesn't seem as popular as my other fics, but I'm enjoying myself with this one. Most readers know I'm a huge Ultra Magnus fangirl, so I'm having fun making him my puppet. ::pokes Ultra Magnus:: Go polish your armor, sweetie, we've got visitors.

**Chapter 4**

"Ultra Magnus, couldn't you at least have used protection?" Ratchet asked with a smirk.

He was the only one who could see the hilarity in the situation. Medic's prerogative. Now that the initial shock of finding Optimus Prime with a growing sparkling under his armor plates had worn off, he was planning on dragging every ounce of 'Ratchet payback' out of the situation. Of course, the care of Optimus was now his ultimate priority, but hey, fun had to be found somewhere in his life. He also felt that the two mech's - Magnus and Optimus - would need something to smile about on the long road ahead of them.

Right now, Ultra Magnus wasn't appreciating the humor. He sent the medic a glare, "He's a _mech_, Ratchet, and in case you have _failed_ to notice, so am I, it never occurred to either of us to be careful. This wasn't supposed to happen." The huge black and blue mech rubbed the back of his head as he was struck by a sudden horrible thought. His optics widened. The hand dropped to his side. "Oh no. Does this mean that we'll get a sparkling whenever we... um... you know..."

"Interface the slag out of each other? Spark screw each other senseless?" The CMO suggested lightly, filling in the gaps. Ultra Magnus may have trouble with talking about intimacy but he didn't. Sure, the image of Magnus and Optimus clambering all over each other in lust wasn't a great image to have in his processor but he got his digs in wherever he could get them.

"Yeah, that - thank you ever so much for the crude analogy, Ratchet," Magnus frowned. What he and Optimus did on their berth should remain private, but if he was responsible for the fact that Prime was with sparkling, it obviously wasn't going to be that way any longer.

"No," Ratchet said solemnly, "I think if Primus has a sense of humor at all, he'll make you take turns. You're next, Magnus."

Prime's sparkmate looked horrified. He clutched his hands to his midsection and began backing away from Optimus. "N-No. No! No _way_."

"Oh, c'mon Magnus, you can't let Prime take all the credit, it's not like he was given any say in it. You should share the burden too," the medic grinned salaciously.

Optimus allowed them to bicker, the need to purge again was rising in his throat and he was struggling to fight it down. His partner was right. Amongst all this weirdness, he was so right. What on Cybertron were they going to do with each other if Primus was determined for him to produce sparklings every time they did an interface and a merge?! And why him anyway? What was wrong with using femmes? That's what they were built for! He had no doubt that in some form, the Matrix, Primus, and the original Prime's were responsible for this mess. He was the last Prime, and they wanted to make sure there was another one to carry on the family line. He wished he could get all three holy deities in a room together and give them a severe talking to. With his gun. He would never express himself so bluntly – nor would he make the others think he wasn't up to the task of being Autobot Commander – but he was tired of being the one big hope (and last bot standing) for his sacred ancestry.

Ratchet indulged himself for a few more moments, enjoying the sight of the normally unfazable Ultra Magnus looking absolutely stricken by the thought of carrying a sparkling himself, something a little underpowered femme could accomplish easily but which made the powerful mech tremble with fear. Then he straightened up and decided that the hilarity of the situation had to come to an end for a few moments. They had serious issues to discuss.

"Optimus, I'm relieving you of command."

Optimus Prime - able to control his urge to vomit up his tank contents for the moment - glared at Ratchet from under the heavy overhang of his helmet armor. "I'm not going to allow you to do that," the flamed mech said firmly, "carrying doesn't mean I am in any way sick or injured. I do not need replacing, Ratchet."

"Optimus," Ratchet sighed, rubbing at his forehead, "it would not be fair to you, your sparkling-to-be, Magnus, or your troops, to have you in command right now, and believe me when I say you have yet to fully grasp the precariousness of your situation. Your body was never made to support a growing sparkling. There are many changes both physical and _mental_," Ratchet took care to stress the mental part, tapping a finger against his own head, "that you will undergo, meaning that you will not be entirely yourself, and this will greatly affect how you make your command decisions. No matter how much you may attempt to carry on as per normal, you won't be able to."

Optimus wasn't impressed. "You know me well, Ratchet, and you also must be familiar with the fact that I am not easily swayed by my emotions."

While Optimus continued to voice his objections, Ratchet crossed his arms and sent Ultra Magnus a pleading look. With a soft sigh, Magnus reached out one finger from where he was standing behind his mate and ran it down the side of Optimus' neck, stroking between the plates of armor and brushing his protoform. Immediately, Prime lost his train of thought and stammered to a halt.

"Er..."

The CMO smirked. "Exactly. That response you just made to Ultra Magnus? A bit lost for words? Amplify that by at least twenty times when your processor is affected by the changes in your physiology caused by the sparkling. You will be in a mental state far beyond moody, trust me. Try irritable, frustrated, anxious, strung-out, depressed, irrational and under-confident – do I need to go on? You need to make a command decision RIGHT NOW before all of that mental stress kicks in that you will hand over control of the Autobots to either Ironhide or Ultra Magnus."

"How many carrying femmes have you cared for?" Optimus demanded, trying to stare down the medic from his prone position on the med bench. He was not going to admit that he was already beginning to feel every one of the 'emotional' symptoms the mech had just listed.

"Carrying femmes? Two thousand, six hundred and forty two. Carrying mech's? One. You." Ratchet said calmly, and lifted one optic ridge. "Is that enough to satisfy you that I am qualified?"

If anything, it was being made clear to Prime that he was running out of options and being gently but firmly guided into a corner. He grunted and shifted his gaze to the ceiling. "Very well..." he said moodily, making a fist of one hand and tapping it on the bench. His head turned to look at his mate. "Ultra Magnus. I am hereby installing you as acting Autobot Commander. Do you accept?"

There was only a small hesitation on Magnus' part. "Yes, I do. But I would like to request Ironhide's assistance with this. With you, er.." Magnus shifted on his feet nervously, his optics travelling over Prime's laid out frame, "bearing a sparkling, my attention will undoubtedly be compromised."

Prime nodded, satisfied. "Very well. Ironhide will be Co-Commander."

Ultra Magnus made a face, "You know what that means. We'll have to inform the lughead exactly why you are handing over command. He's going to laugh his aft off well into the next millennium."

"If you tell Ironhide, you will also need to inform Major Lennox." Ratchet pointed out. "You can't tell one and not the other. I think it would be a good idea to inform Sarah Lennox as well. She is carrying too. It will be good for you to have a friendly fellow carrier to talk to. Discuss your fears and give each other support."

Optimus hesitated for a second, processing the idea of a human who was also carrying knowing about his current state. It seemed logical. "Yes."

He could feel the beginnings of his nausea rising up again. He dearly wanted to get back to his own berth for some peace and quiet. He felt that he was coping amazingly well with the fact that HE – a mech – was pregnant, that he had a sparkling developing in his chest. He'd had to cope with a lot of strange things in his very long lifetime, but this one took the energon goodie. Completely. He looked out the medbay doorway at the glowing horizon that announced the beginning of the new day.

"Ratchet, I wish to return to my berth to... process all of this. Is the sparkling okay for the present moment?"

The CMO grunted, "Will be in an astrosecond – hold still."

Optimus yelped as a large needle bearing a vial of amber liquid was shoved into a fuel line under his elbow plating without warning, the contents of the needle vaporised instantly into his systems.

"Warn me before you do that!" Prime protested unhappily, cradling his arm in one hand. He hated needles.

Ratchet smirked, but did extend himself to pat Prime's shoulder soothingly, "Magnus, you can take your big sparkling back to his quarters now. I just injected him with a top up of minerals that the growing sparkling will require. Femmes produce it naturally, but mech's, er, don't, so if you don't wish to have your protoform stripped down to its bare essentials, Prime, you will need a weekly injection. Like it or not." He held up the large but empty syringe, studying it. "Which I will very happily provide you with."

Optimus gave into a very uncharacteristic bout of quiet grumbling. Needles were a hated topic with him.

Ultra Magnus was silent and stoic. All of his senses were keenly locked on his sparkmate, Prime's welfare and very life were at stake with this incredible surprise that had been literally sprung upon them. He was having difficulty dealing with the myriad of swirling emotions hitting him from Prime's end of their sparklink. Hope, love, distress, weariness, confusion – and some panic. Mech's just weren't meant to deal with bearing a sparkling. He hoped Primus knew what he was doing when he created this little problem for them to manage. He understood that Prime wouldn't have been forced into this ridiculous situation if only he'd bonded with a female sparkmate, instead of another mech. Fate couldn't be helped.

Magnus stepped forwards, resting his hand on his mate's shoulder. "Optimus, let's get you back to your berth for some rest, yes?"

Prime's optics flickered up at him. "Mmm." He gingerly got to his feet and was immediately assaulted by a wave of nausea. Going still and leaning on the oversized mass of his mech mate, he gritted his mouthplates and bowed his head, fighting it, taking long draws of air through his intakes. He held one curled up large hand to his broad chest protectively, now that he knew what was in it he was trying to concentrate on that instead of the nausea.

"Is there anything you can do for his purging?" Magnus asked Ratchet, sending a glance his way full of concern while rubbing one hand up and down Prime's hunched back.

"Not much. I will attempt to prepare some mild solar energon for him today, which sometimes helps. I'm sorry to say that I've never really found a solution to the purging problem with the femmes either. Best you can do right now is stay on the berth and keep quiet. It will pass." Ratchet made shooing motions with his hands, "Out of here, both of you, get some recharge. This will probably be the last peaceful time you'll have together for a while. Enjoy it. Get over the shock." He shook his head, one silver hand rubbing the back of his chartreuse-colored head, "Let _me_ get over the shock too."

The same guards that had witnessed Ultra Magnus carry Optimus across the tarmac were still on duty when the two bots left the medbay, this time with Optimus walking – stiffly but surely – by the side of his larger mate. The carrying Autobot Leader (temporarily stood down from his position) made it to their rooms and inside the door before he leaned over and huddled his arms across his midsection, dry heaving.

Magnus was just closing the door, concerned at Prime's distress when a thick black arm topped with a spinning cannon inserted himself between the door and the wall, stopping it from closing. Magnus met the frowning visage of Ironhide with a lurch in his spark. The mech would want to know exactly what was going on.

Ironhide pushed the door back, moving his wide frame into the doorway. He took in the sight of his Commander standing rigid with one hand over his mouthplates and grunted. "Optimus, you want to tell me why you're purging like a knocked up femme?"

Ultra Magnus tried to intercept him, resting his hand on the doorframe at Ironhide's height and saying lightly, "Made one to know one, Ironhide?"

"Humph," the black weapons mech ran a craggy optic over Prime's tall sparkmate, "no offence, but it's not like you'd know what to do with one, Magnus."

Magnus stiffened his jaw, biting back a snappy retort at the hefty nudge to his mechness when Optimus shuttered his optics and held up a weary hand to stop them both from verbally sparring for many hours to come. Prime gingerly settled himself into a sitting position on his berth before speaking.

"No Magnus, he needs to know. No time like the present."

"Know what?" Ironhide frowned. He stilled his cannons, looking curiously at Optimus.

"Oh, you'll wish you'd never made that crack about femmes, Ironhide," Magnus said, his optics darkening. He stood back from Optimus, letting Ironhide move into the room fully. This was going to be fun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Baby Blunder**

Thank you for all the comments and alerts! I appreciate it. Hope you are still enjoying it, Borath sweetie!

**Chapter 5**

Optimus Prime sat silently on his berth. He didn't know what to say – from the point of view that his CPU was freezing up at the words, 'I'm carrying' and from the fact that he was fighting off the never-ending urge to empty his tank. When he lifted his head and made optic contact with his sparkmate, Ultra Magnus sighed and shook his head. He'd do it.

"Ironhide, Optimus is going to have a sparkling."

Ironhide cocked his head at him, one optic squinting. "What?"

Magnus gave him a wry smile, "Turn your audio's up, your cannons have made you deaf. I said, Optimus is going to have a sparkling."

The black mech's face was dumbfounded for a few moments. The he smirked at Prime, smacking him on the shoulder. The contact made Optimus cover his mouth with his hand abruptly. "You old slagger, I didn't even know you liked femmes that much. So, which one of the Arcee femmes is it?"

Ultra Magnus had to restrain himself from reaching out and throttling the stupid mech. "He hasn't been with anyone but me, you pitspawn! This had nothing to do with the femmes!"

"Don't you get all uppity with me, fraghead," Ironhide shot back, "of course I'm asking him which Arcee bot it is, she's the only femme we have down here, who else would have a sparkling?" He snorted contemptuously, "You? If you're the femme I can see why you've been keeping it a secret, Mags, I don't mind saying you're one hell of an ugly female. Obviously, Prime took you as a mate out of sympathy for that since you wouldn't get any other mech being that kind."

Ultra Magnus glared, making a fist.

"Ironhide..." Optimus warned.

"Okay, okay. Sorry, I take it back." Ironhide's mouthplates twitched into an underhanded grin. "You're not an ugly female, you're an ugly mech."

Magnus hissed, his optics darkening, taking a step forwards to belt him one.

"Magnus! Don't!" Optimus commanded, "Ironhide, stop baiting him. Stand down." Why was Primus making him have a sparkling when he had enough sparklings to deal with already?

"I'll stand down as soon as you explain what's going on," the Weapons Specialist grumbled, putting his hands on his hips.

Ultra Magnus forced himself to back down. He was normally a stoic, hard-to-rile kind of mech, but Ironhide always knew what buttons of his to push. He knew he was far from ugly, having been propositioned by many femmes during his lifetime. He also knew it was commonly asked WHY Ironhide attracted any femmes at all, considering _his_ crude and scared appearance.

Straightening himself up to maintain some sort of dignity, Prime addressed his old friend. "I'm the one carrying, Ironhide. I have a sparkling in my chest, Ratchet just confirmed it."

A series of emotions appeared on Ironhide's face. Surprise. Anger. Then shock. A flicker of humor. Confusion. Then he just stood there, hands hanging down by his sides. Frozen.

"But... but you're a... you're not a..."

"Not a femme? Yes. Neither is Magnus, before you start that again. We haven't worked out exactly what is going on just yet but Ratchet said he has a theory, and if it's anything like mine I'm guessing this has something to do with the original Primes and the Matrix." Optimus paused, waiting for a response. The other mech stayed silent. "Speechless, 'Hide?"

"Guh..."

The bonded mechs waited for something more revealing and intelligent to come out of Ironhide's mouthplates, but nothing more was forthcoming. Magnus smirked and extended a hand to poke the mech with a finger. Ironhide slapped it away.

"Stop that! Don't you touch me, I'm not into mech's!" he growled. His optics snapped back to stare at Optimus. "You're joking. You must be."

"I'm afraid not. It's in here," Prime tapped his upper chest, "and growing quite happily, according to Ratchet. And before you ask, no, I will not remove it. He or she is staying."

Ultra Magnus crossed his arms and took a step closer to his mate, showing his silent agreement. "I told you that crack about femmes would come back to bite you," he chided Ironhide.

Ironhide stared at Optimus. He couldn't comprehend it. Optimus Prime? A _mother_? At that thought he grunted and shook his head. "I have to ask, just to make things perfectly clear. Magnus, you are the sire, correct?"

The biggest mech smiled smugly, "Correct."

"Humph." Ironhide looked back and forth between both of them. He had to get one more jibe in. "I guess, all I can say is, congratulations, Optimus. You better pray this sparkling comes out as a mech, because I shudder to think what a femme from you two would look like."

Ultra Magnus gritted his jaw and managed to not make a snappy retort. Optimus was more relaxed, letting forth a chuckle. "I do agree with you on that one. I can't comprehend something as dainty and cute as a sparkling femme coming from either of us. It just doesn't seem right, I mean, look at us. Where on Cybertron would a female inherit her femme qualities?"

"Where indeed..." Magnus commented dryly. "Optimus, I think you should get some rest. I'll go with Ironhide to sort a few command responsibilities out."

Prime had briefly managed to forget his tiredness, and his nausea, but mentioning it had made feel like wet slag. He needed to get horizontal. His head lowered, one hand rubbing at his noseplates, "Yes, that would be very welcome, Magnus."

Ultra Magnus briefly put a comforting hand on his mate's shoulder, offering him a gentle smile, before following Ironhide out of the room and closing the door. Optimus slowly settled himself onto his back and stretched out. He was consciously moving very carefully, mindful of the precious cargo snuggled in his chest. It was only small yet. From what he knew about sparklings – which was very little – when it grew bigger he would be facing quite a few problems. Before the war he had seen a handful of sparking femmes, their slightly protruding abdomen's betraying their status. It seemed very uncomfortable from the way they had sometimes winced and made faces. He had never thought about having his own sparkling. His relationship with Elita One had never worked, no matter how hard they tried. It hadn't been Elita's fault that what he really wanted was a relationship with another mech, not a femme. Hence, he had put all thought of having his own sparkling out of his CPU. Mech pairs simply did not have sparklings, and that was that.

Not anymore...

His hand wandered over his armored chest as he thought. His sparkling was very much higher in his body than what it would be in a femme, he guessed that was because he lacked a reproductive chamber. His sparkling was being supported directly by his spark. This was not an unknown phenomenon, in Transformers history the very first created sparklings in females had been borne this way, it was evolution and better technology that had resulted in the creation of reproductive chambers in the abdomen of femmes.

Prime's optics dimmed sadly as he thought of what had tragically happened to Cybertron's femme population. Slaughtered by Megatron without mercy. He realised that since he was carrying, he himself could face the same fate. His brother wouldn't be kind about it if he ever found out that he had a sparkling. Yet another reason to keep this a secret for as long as possible.

His optics shuttered closed. He drifted off into recharge with his hand still laid protectively over his chest.

_**A few Earth hours later...**_

Ratchet brought Optimus out of recharge without his usual bellow in the audio. Optimus was astonished to be brought back online with a gentle hand on his shoulder and a quiet comlink request. He'd never known the medic to be so... gracious. The CMO was standing next to his berth and looking at him. Prime ramped up the brightness on his optics and sat up slowly. A quick check of his database showed him a message from his concerned mate asking if he was feeling alright and saying he would be tied up for the next hour or two, but could be contacted if he was needed. Optimus sent him a pulse of love over their sparklink, and responded saying he was coping perfectly well with his situation.

"'Bout time you came out of recharge. Your energon reserves are too low. How do you feel?" Ratchet asked.

Optimus shook his head slightly, "Still off. I don't think I can drink anything yet."

"Hmm. Since you can't keep much down, I think a drip transfer is the best choice. Let's get you to the medbay." Ratchet turned to leave, expecting Optimus to follow him. He pulled up quickly when he realised he wasn't. He shot a calculating look over his shoulder. "Optimus?"

The carrying mech stayed sitting on his berth, an expression of hesitation on his faceplates. "Ratchet... is this... uh..." Prime faltered. He was normally good with his words, but he couldn't fathom how to express how he felt about his current situation.

"Is this going to work out? Will the sparkling be okay? Will _you_ be okay? What's going to happen next?" Ratchet filled in for him, "And possibly, _why_ did this happen?"

Optimus gave him a weak smile, "Yes. You got it."

It unsettled Ratchet to see his bold, strong, and confident Leader so out of character. Himself, the rest of Prime's close team, the other Autobots, the whole army had always leant on Prime, they all depended on him for just about everything. It just seemed wrong to have the circumstances reversed so dramatically.

The aged CMO sat himself down on the berth next to Prime. "Optimus, you don't need me to tell that the job ahead of you is going to be a tough one, right?"

"I worked that out, yes," Optimus said quietly, his hands held together in his lap.

"Don't ignore the fact that there will undoubtedly be joy as well. _You have a sparkling, _a feat you could never have achieved otherwise with a mech mate without the help of the Matrix, the Ancestral Primes, and possibly Primus. Whichever deity is responsible for this I don't rightly know, but imagine holding your little one after it has been sparked, watching its first steps, hearing it say things, smiling at you even – all this knowing that you and Magnus produced it from your love for one another. I will be with you every step of the way and we already know that this is a feat that is not impossible for a mech to do, the ancient mechs in times past used to do it, and so can you. Most likely everything will go ahead without a hitch. So stop thinking so hard about it, you'll get a processor ache. There," Ratchet patted his knee, "feel better?"

Some of the tension drained from Prime's frame. His shoulders lifted. "Oh yes. Yes." His head dipped. "Thank you. I must agree that is a better perspective to view things from."

"Good." Ratchet stood up. "Now is not a great time to tell you about the endless nights without recharge, cleaning out its waste tank, putting up with uncontrolled crying and tantrums, always finding some willing bot to look after it when needed... I've said too much, haven't I?"

The 'Oh my God' expression on Prime's face told Ratchet that he had.

"Nevermind about that," Ratchet clapped Optimus on one of his hefty shoulders, "you're the one carrying it so you'll be within your rights to sit back and make Ultra Magnus do most of the icky stuff afterwards, hmmm?"

"What a brilliant suggestion. You are quite the diplomat, Ratchet, have I ever told you that?" Optimus said, smiling.

After Optimus had been given another thorough going over by Ratchet and administered with an energon drip (despite Prime cringing and making faces), the medic had thought now was a good time to bring Optimus and his mate Magnus up to speed on what to expect over the next few months. He had them both sit down at a bench while he shut the medbay doors and used one of the hangar walls as an impromptu screen to make the points for his lecture. Ratchet had already figured out that by his calculations the sparkling was due to be sparked – 'birthed' – from Prime's chest only two days before Sarah Lennox's due date for her baby.

"That's a good sign," Magnus said with a broad smile, "our sparkling and Sarah's sparkling can play together."

"No, no, I don't think that would be a great idea, Magnus. Our sparkling might damage hers, that would be a disaster." Optimus said bluntly, cringing.

"I don't think our sparkling will be hurting anybody until he undergoes training in how to rip the heads and arms off a Decepticon," Magnus insisted.

Prime growled, "What?! I do NOT want our sparkling trained do anything so blatantly violent."

"What are we going to teach it for self-defence then – wave a white flag and say 'Please go away'?" Magnus shot back.

"Now you're being silly. Standard weapons and ballistics training will work just fine," Optimus explained patiently, "and maybe some work in hand-to-hand grappling would be an advantage."

"I'm saying right now that I want our sparkling loaded down with every conceivable weapons system that Ironhide can install. I do NOT want our progeny left defenceless because of your leaning towards passivity, Optimus!"

"I am not passive!" Prime hissed, getting annoyed, "I just chose to avoid most conflicts when the outcome is not favourable! Just because you want to shoot, beat and rip apart every Decepticon you lay on optics on doesn't mean our sparkling should do the same!"

"As if! Stop thinking that talking and being inoffensive will solve every problem, PRIME!"

"You can shove THAT up your aft, MAGNUS!"

Ratchet paused in his lecturing as his head went back and forth between the two giant mechs perched on stools in front of him like he was watching a celebrity tennis match. He had horrible images of this sparkling turning out like Ironhide to the power of one hundred. Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus rarely fought but when they did it was utterly fascinating to watch the legendary pair go at it like mechanocats with insults and counter-attacks flowing freely. Strangely, they felt much more free to slag each other off because they _were_ sparkmates, instead of the other way around. The CMO put a hand over his faceplates and sighed heavily. He had to put a stop to this and he knew just the exact words to do it with.

"Stop it you two. What if the sparkling is a femme?" Ratchet inserted smoothly between Prime and Magnus exchanging barbs.

"Won't happen," Magnus said firmly, sitting back on his stool and folding his arms over his immense chest. "I can't see mech's like us producing something small and feminine. Not possible."

"...Agreed," Optimus rumbled, one strong arm laid across the bench with the fingers tapping, "it will be a mech, I can see no other outcome."

Ratchet lifted a quizzical optic ridge, "Really? Care to make a bet on that?"

"What do you know that we don't, Ratch?" Magnus asked inquisitively.

"Nothing. I'm just saying that you both appear to have forgotten there is an equal chance of producing a femme OR a mech. Nothing is for certain, you can't get a mech just because that is what you want, no questions asked."

Ultra Magnus didn't look impressed at Ratchet's reasoning. He couldn't believe that the sparkling growing in his mate's chest could possibly turn out to be female. What would they do with a femme? The poor thing wouldn't want big, weapons-carrying, growly mechs like him and Optimus for parents, she would need some sort of female progenitor, surely?

"Whatever the sparkling is, he OR she has already got a gender. It did have from the moment it was conceived within Prime's chest when you merged with each other, alright? So stop with the bickering and get with the learning," Ratchet told them with his 'don't-try-and-slag-with-me' tone of voice.

Primus help him if the glitch-spawned mech's DID have a femme. He'd quit as CMO and move to another planet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Baby Blunder**

Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! I haven't had much of a chance to sit down and reply, please excuse me. Been crazily busy lately. On with more pregnant Optimus!

**Chapter 6**

**NEST Operations hangar, Diego Garcia, one week after Optimus Prime's sparkling news...**

Optimus Prime moved most of the weight on his feet from his left foot to his right foot. Restless. He was at the point of being ready to hand over his spark to slagging _Megatron_ if he could just be given ONE moment to get his fingers right into his chest armor and give his protoform a good scratching. It was driving him to the pit! This itch was insane! He'd have to drag Ratchet aside and demand to know why the area in his chest around where the growing sparkling was contained was so damn itchy!

The massive Commander was still – temporarily – in charge of the Autobots, and Co-Commander of NEST. He and Ultra Magnus were yet to inform the others that he would be stepping down as Officer-In-Charge because they were still planning exactly how to go about such a risky manoeuvre. What sort of explanation (other than the obvious) could they possibly use as to why Optimus suddenly could NOT continue as Head Commander? He wasn't exactly sick, and military leaders didn't suddenly up and decide to take a holiday for recreational purposes. So, what were they going to say? Ironhide and Ultra Magnus had already taken upon themselves some of the tasks Prime usually handled while deftly brushing off queries from the other soldiers about the sudden re-arrangements.

Ultra Magnus was watching his irritable mate in his peripheral vision while keeping his main focus on the meeting in progress. His mouthplates twitched. He could feel how anxious his mech partner was about the sensations driving him slagging crazy in his chest. Optimus had spent a great deal of his recharge time the previous night with his hands inside his chest, rubbing at his protoform in a vain attempt to quieten the itchy-scratchy sensations without much relief; and in doing so, had kept bringing Magnus out of his recharge programs as well. They had been a grumpy and snitchy pair come early morning.

Hence, neither of the mech's were at their best, and both of them were beginning to realise that Ratchet's warnings about how much their lives were about to be disrupted was very good advice indeed. Little-to-no recharge being the most obvious problem. Whatever affected Optimus directly affected his sparkmate as well. Having BOTH top-ranking Autobots off-kilter was NOT a good situation.

Finally, with a barely contained growl, Optimus Prime hunched his shoulders, made a scarcely audible plea of "Excuse me," darted out of the main hangar door, turned the corner to the rear of the hangar – and shoved both of his hands inside his chest. One above, one below.

"Thank Primus..." he sighed with relief, happily scratching away at the regions of his protoform above and around his spark. He unlocked several portions of his red and blue flamed armor to get better access, his agile fingers poking and stroking. His optic covers shuttered closed and his engine purred at the wonderful sensations of getting his fingers right into the problem area.

Unbeknownst to Optimus – or a very attentive Ultra Magnus who swiftly covered for his missing partner – Sargent Epps had ducked out of the smaller human sized door and followed the big alien around the hangar. He had been meaning to make a lightning quick visit to the little boys room, but instead he stood in open-mouthed shock at seeing Optimus with some of his armor hanging off his intimating frame and his hands in his chest, scrabbling around.

"Uh... are you alright, big guy?" Epps asked uncertainly. Optimus looked like he had _fleas _or something.

Prime jerked his hands out of himself and snapped his armor back into place, standing up straight. His head turned to look at the human man. "Er... yes, Sargent. I just had a very nasty... itch." He shrugged his wide shoulders weakly, his hydraulics hissing, "You know how it is, just have to scratch it."

_That's gotta be some itch_, Epps thought, his eyes (as always) travelling in never-ending awe up and down Prime's extremely large mass. "Yeah... yeah, I do. Hope you fixed it."

Optimus flashed him a grim smile, gave a quick nod, then turned and strode back inside the hangar.

Epps was left shaking his head, murmuring to himself, "That's not right... metal don't _itch_."

When the meeting eventually wound up, Optimus practically power-walked for the medbay, sending an urgent request to Ratchet to meet him there. He'd had it with this Primus damned ITCH! There must be something the CMO could do. But the news wasn't at all to his liking once Ratchet had examined him.

"The sparkling is forming its own carrying chamber out of your components by siphoning out excess minerals and waste metal, that's what the sensations are. There's nothing I can do. It's all perfectly normal and to be expected. "

"What? No, no, there must be something," Prime insisted desperately, "_anything_." As if to emphasise his distress, Optimus kept one hand inside his chest around his windscreen, fingers working away to soothe himself. "This just isn't right. I can't be seen in public like this."

"If it is any consolation, the itching should cease in another Earth day or two." Ratchet bestowed him with an evil smile. "I can confine you to your quarters with a medical rank override, then you'll be free to scratch away all day in comfort. Not that you ever listen to me, anyway."

Prime grunted. "I can't stay and do nothing in my room, I have too many items that need attending to."

"Then, like I said, I can do nothing for you. If the itching doesn't begin to subside in a few days time or you feel any pain, come and see me. Now, out, you're cluttering up my medbay. Go on, OUT." Ratchet flapped his hands at the huge flamed mech, eager to get him moving. Optimus would be spending an awful lot of time in his medbay by necessity in the months to come, hence he didn't want him hanging around just for the sake of it when nothing was wrong.

Prime got down from the bench, straightening his frame and removing his hand from his chest reluctantly. Maybe if he asked Magnus nicely he would do some of the scratching for him, especially if he lay on his back and retracted his armor, after all his sparkmate's fingers were just as good as his own. It would be nice to rest and let someone else do the work. Leaving the medbay, he made a detour to visit Will and Sarah Lennox. It was the humans lunchtime, and he wanted to see how the female was progressing with her own pregnancy. He couldn't yet discuss his situation with her, but it would make him feel not so alone... and get his CPU off the fragging horrible sensations in his chest for a little while.

At least he was beginning to get a grip on the horrible nausea he was plagued with. Sipping his energon lightly and only drinking solar energon in the morning had worked pretty well so far. He hadn't been caught short and purged on the ground or on anyone's feet for two days now, thank Primus. Ultra Magnus had been keeping a close eye on him and helping where he could, but his 'helping' often amounted to darting out of the way when Optimus got a certain expression on his face that often meant he was about to eject.

"Optimus!"

Annabel; the Lennox's daughter; accosted him as he entered the open Autobot-sized hangar door after knocking and getting a cheerful 'Come in!'. The Major and his wife were sitting at the table in the living area, talking quietly. Both looked up at him and watched as he greeted their little girl.

"Annabel, how are you today?" Optimus Prime got down on one knee and faced the small girl, ignoring the slight twinge in his chest the position caused. Her grinning face was turned up to him with excitement. She wasn't afraid of him in the least.

"Good! Dad's going to take me for a drive! In Ironhide!" She bounced up and down on her feet like an over-energised sparkling and chattered away. "Do you want to come? You'll have to drive yourself but. You won't fit in Ironhide, I mean, he's big but he's not THAT big."

Major Lennox shook his head, smiling. "No Bella, Optimus is very busy. Maybe another day, alright?"

"Humph." Annabel made a face, her mouth pouting. "If you say so."

"No grumbling or it's the naughty corner for you..." her mother warned lightly, smiling at them over the top of her drink.

Her daughter's head bowed while she scuffed the toe of one sneaker-clad foot, "Yes Mom."

Studying the youngling, Optimus Prime felt a twinge in his spark that blossomed into a healthy throb. He would soon have a sparkling of his own, and he wished that he or she would have the same charm, enthusiasm and love that Annabel possessed. Will and Sarah were truly blessed by their Gods.

"Annabel, perhaps another time your mother and father may permit you to go a for a drive with me inside the base. Would you like that?" Optimus asked gently, his optics glowing an intense blue.

"Oh yeah! That'd be great!" Annabel clapped with enthusiasm. "You're bigger than Ironhide!"

"Kids," Major Lennox rolled his eyes fondly, brushing off bread crumbs from his shirt, "everything is about what size it is."

"It isn't only children that have that same fascination..." Sarah clucked her tongue, eyeing off her husband. "Everything you first told me about the Autobots was how big they were."

Will grunted, rubbing the back of his head with a smirk. "Yes, but they are big, Sarah."

His wife looked at him warmly, "Oh shush, now go and take your daughter to Ironhide and have some fun. Go on."

Optimus watched as Will gave him a wave and followed his daughter out of the hangar, Annabel dashing out the door and yelling for Ironhide.

"What brings you here, Optimus?" Sarah asked, sitting back in her chair and resting her hand on her bulging belly. She'd just finished three sandwiches and was contemplating some jelly for dessert. Since her nausea had abated for the moment, she was intent on getting as many calories down her throat as she could to make up for the shortfall of missed breakfasts and lunches.

Prime stood and walked closer to her, his footsteps thudding on the carpeted concrete, "I wanted to see how you were fairing with your pregnancy. Ratchet informed me that your vomiting has improved lately."

"Ah," Sarah waved a hand at him, "it comes and goes. As awful as it is, you get used to it after a while. I just get through as best as I can." She pointed at her empty lunch plates, "Like now, I feel fine so I'm eating what I can."

_Good idea, I should do that too,_ Optimus thought as he surveyed the plates. "That sounds like an excellent strategy to me." He twitched as the itching in his chest began to reach an intolerable level. He flexed his shoulders uncomfortably in a poor attempt to ease it.

Sarah noticed his seeming discomfort, "Are you alright?"

Prime's hand twitched. He desperately wanted to get his fingers in there. "...Yes. Sort of." _Slag it!_ With a groan, he put his hand to his chest and pressed on the armor, giving him some limited relief. "I have a... new part. Ratchet says it will itch for the next few days. It is uncomfortable."

The human woman's eyebrows lifted. "Oh. The new part is in your chest?"

"Yes." _That's as close to the truth as I can disclose! _He pushed on his armor again, getting it to vibrate. He wanted to rip the front of his chest off and scratch like the pit. If he had his way he'd dispense with all of his armor down to his protoform and have a scratching-fest.

Sarah gave him a sympathetic look, scrutinising the multiple metallic sections of his chest. "It must be hard for you to get in there, you have so much metal in the way. Why don't you ask your husband to help you?"

Optimus froze. "What?"

"Oh sorry. Um, what did Will call it... sparkmate! Your sparkmate. Ultra Magnum?"

The Autobot Leader smiled wryly, "Ultra _Magnus." _

"Yes! When I can't reach an itch, I get Will to do it." She patted her tummy. "Especially past this little burden. That's what husbands and sparkmates are for. Helping."

_Femme, I think I love you, _Optimus smiled. "I will inform him of his duties right away and put him to work. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Carefully, Sarah pushed back her chair and got to her feet with a grunt. She surveyed the cluttered table. "I better clear all this away."

Optimus watched her begin to move around, his optics intent on her bulging midsection. Her movements were compromised by her altered mass and centre of gravity but she managed quite well. Would he be the same? His sparkling would eventually force out the upper section of his chest, causing it to look very round, although he shouldn't be as compromised as Sarah was and he guessed that like her, he may have trouble seeing his feet and lower section... and getting up from his recharge berth while not being able to roll onto his side may make him feel like a beached Sharkticon needing rescuing. From his point-of-view, human females were very underpowered to be dealing with such a big burden on their bodies. With his incredible strength, carrying a sparkling was easier for him than it was for her.

"May I be of assistance?" he offered gently, flexing his hands and wanting to help.

The woman arched an eyebrow, "With this? Oh no, you can't really. Anyway, it's good for me to be moving around, I can't sit down all day." She stopped and chewed her lip thoughtfully. "You could take out the trash for me... the smell sometimes starts up my nausea again."

Optimus made careful note of that. Smells may set off _his_ nausea too. "Certainly." He looked around, "Where is it?"

Sarah pointed to the end of the kitchen bench, "There, in the big metal can. I'd much appreciate it if you could take it out and empty it in one of the big trash dumpsters."

"Consider it done."

Ducking down so as not to hit his head on the ceiling where the hangar curved downwards, he used his fingers like pincers to hold and lift the trash can, carrying it outside and emptying it before returning the bin to its place. He bid Sarah goodbye and returned to his duties (after finding a bit of privacy and giving his poor chest a workout with his fingers).

When Ultra Magnus returned to his and Prime's quarters later that night, he found Optimus already stretched out on his back atop their recharge berth with his chest bare of all its armor down to his protoform. Magnus would have called the view erotic if hadn't already guessed what his mate really wanted.

Optimus lifted his head to make optic contact with his mate, then pointed languidly at his chest with one hand. "Your turn. Scratch me. I've been doing it all day, now it's your job. Sarah Lennox informed me that it should be."

While using his hands on a purring Prime, Ultra Magnus pondered the thought that femmes of both species were always causing trouble.


	7. Chapter 7

**Baby Blunder**

Authors Note: Once again, I have been running around like a headless chook all this month, and I apologise sincerely for not responding to many of the reviews people have left for me. I appreciate every single review I receive, and you have my eternal thanks.

**Chapter 7**

It was two more long days before Optimus Prime's unbearable itching died down to a tolerable level, and another day until it disappeared altogether. For that, both Optimus and Ultra Magnus were very relieved. Not that Magnus was upset about getting his digits under his mate's very attractive armor... on the contrary, any excuse to touch Prime intimately was welcome in his view, gliding his fingers over Prime's armor and caressing every seam and ridge was his version of heaven. The large black and blue warrior was starting to fully understand on a deeper level what was happening to him and his partner, and Magnus took every opportunity he could to study Prime's chest and ponder the changes within it, acutely aware that there would soon be a physical representation of their love for one another that they could hold, love, and present to the world. Having a sparkling was something both of them had willingly given up when they bonded with one another.

Neither of them were to know what was going to hit them next on the bearing-a-sparkling-merry-go-round. Ratchet's warnings about Prime's mental state had been absorbed but not entirely understood as an 'obstacle'.

"...don't touch me..."

Ultra Magnus was roused out of his nightly recharge by Optimus Prime's terse words to find his arm – and other body parts – lifted from where they were lying on or near Optimus Prime's body and dumped onto the recharge berth. Magnus had been snuggled up spoonwise to his sparkmates back. Not any more. His arm had been resting comfortably over Prime's waist - it was removed and shoved aside. His thigh was in-between Prime's own legs – that was pushed back with a harsh grunt. His head was on Optimus' shoulder – the shoulder was jerked out from under him to leave him cheekplate down on the flat of the berth with an expression of 'Wha..?' on his faceplates.

Prime had pulled into himself, curling up and away from his perplexed sparkmate.

"Optimus?" Magnus blinked his optic shutters at his mech mate. "Are you alright?"

"Fine."

But everything was NOT fine. Prime had rolled away from Magnus and was lying stiffly on his side with his broad back presented to his mate. His whole posture screamed 'don't touch me'.

Ultra Magnus lifted his head from the berth with furrowed brow plates, "Are you in pain?"

"No."

"Are you itchy?"

"_No_."

"Is there anything wrong?"

"NO."

Magnus felt like he'd been mentally slapped. Confused, he extended himself to feel out along the sparklink he had with Prime – and was confronted by a whirlwind of anxiety, heavy irritation, a touch of despair and plenty of angst. All of the feelings were present at a level that Prime rarely – if ever – felt. Ultra Magnus battened down the smirk that wanted to spread over his face. Now was not the time to exclaim in wonder that Optimus was acting like a spark-struck femme. Poor Optimus was experiencing his first taste of spark-carrying 'moodiness'. And how.

Magnus sat up. "Would you like me to bring you some of your solar energon?"

A deep hissy growl came back at him.

"Oh. Okay. Maybe later then... call me if you need anything, I'll come straight here."

"..."

Without waiting for more grouchiness to come his way, Magnus eased his giant frame off the berth and headed for the door. Wow. That was one touchy and moody mech. He'd been prepared for Prime to be in a foul mood somewhere along the line, but this had popped up sooner than he had expected. He wondered if it would be a good idea to warn the others not to approach Optimus until he was feeling less crabby. Perhaps not, because then they would want to know WHY Prime was in a difficult mood, and THAT he could not reveal.

"Magnus..."

The tall black and blue mech paused at the sound of his partner's quiet voice, his hand on the door. "Yes?"

A deep sigh, followed by a characteristic Optimus rumble, "...Sorry. I am sorry. I just... need some space. I can't explain how I feel, but please believe me when I say I am not myself."

"Sure. I understand. Sparkling bearing, messing up your processor, right?"

Prime's head moved fractionally and he sighed, grumbling faintly, for once failing to think of any smooth and Prime-like words to explain. "Yes. It would appear so."

Magnus graced his sparkmate with a small smile, "Take your time with getting up. We'll talk later."

Optimus Prime's temper didn't improve as the day went by. By mid-afternoon when the weekly NEST operations meeting was ready to begin, Prime had invented a whole new series of growls and glares that he was dispensing at random to anyone nearby. Humans ducked for cover when he passed by and the Autobots scrambled to be on the other side of the base from him. Things did not improve when the Government representative Galloway landed in a plane without warning to tie up a few loose ends after his disastrous tenure before the events of Egypt. By now Major Lennox was well aware of what 'mood' Optimus Prime was in, and he could be seen smacking his forehead and grimacing that the presence of Galloway didn't mean things were going to suddenly get any better.

When Galloway (or 'OGA', as Epps referred to him, meaning 'Official Government Asshole') made some snide remarks about parachutes and scrap metal, Optimus abruptly reached behind his shoulder and withdrew his rifle – causing all of the soldiers present to snap to attention with gasps and 'Oh my God's', and Galloway to shriek, throw his papers into the air and look for somewhere safe to dive – but Optimus merely levelled his intimidating weapon in front of his optics for a moment to check it while the whole hangar froze in terror, then he slowly reached down and attached it to his outer thigh, crossing his arms over his chest with a brooding glare.

Galloway recovered from fearing for his life and jumped up to lean over the railing next to Prime's head, "You were going to shoot me!" he shouted, pointing an accusatory finger and spluttering. "Everyone saw it!"

"No, I only you wanted you to think I would," Optimus rumbled in as evil a tone as he could ever get, his optics narrowed to slits, "there's a difference."

The wide blinking optics of a stunned Ultra Magnus met the sweating what-the-fuck face of Lennox. Magnus knew right then and there that it was definitely time for the Major to know about Prime's delicate 'condition' before he began to think that Prime's CPU was heading for the blue screen of death, and pressing alt-ctrl-del wasn't going to help. Lennox saw the pensive but thoughtful expression appear on Magnus' faceplates before the stoic mech could wipe it, and he knew something was going on that the bots were keeping to themselves. Something that involved Optimus, going by the macho display Prime had just used to scare the dumb-ass Galloway with.

The meeting swiftly concluded with Galloway scrambling for the safety of his plane and Ultra Magnus apologising to the others over his shoulder while almost dragging a glowering Optimus to Ratchet for some mental therapy.

Ratchet, Primus bless him, had only two words to say.

"Stop that!"

::thunk::

"Oww!"

Sitting on Ratchet's bench, Prime glared at his CMO while rubbing at his abused helmet armor. Ratchet still held the over-sized wrench he'd just smacked him with, so the bigger mech didn't dare say anything corrosive back.

"I know we all want to shove the ends of our rifles up the aft of that fragging toad Galloway, but as adult bots we refrain from attempting to do so," Ratchet huffed with his hands on his hips, pinning Prime with a patented 'Ratchet' glare, "so what the slag was THAT little performance about, hmm? You enjoy watching the humans duck for cover while wetting their pants?"

Prime stayed sullenly silent, his gaze on the floor. They all knew he wouldn't shoot a human. Never. Ever. HE knew he wouldn't either. That didn't stop him from having delightful visions of sending Galloway's over-rated parts up in smoke.

Ratchet puffed air out of his intakes and shook his head, "I know you meant no harm and you were just astoundingly irritated, but w_hen_ you've got your sanity back I want you to apologise to Lennox and his soldiers for your lack of civil behaviour. Until then, I think staying well away from your fellow troops would save your sanity as well as theirs." The medic jerked his head at Ultra Magnus hovering behind Optimus Prime's shoulder, "Get him out of here, see if you can lighten his mood."

"Yes Sir," Ultra Magnus smiled gently, trying to placate the CMO. He took the arm of his mate and began to lead him outside. "C'mon, let's walk around the base for a bit and see if you can calm down."

"I don't need calming down," Optimus protested, but he allowed himself to be taken out the door and towed gently along by the larger mech. "I'm fine!"

"You are not, stop saying that."

"I am still in command of this outfit," Prime retorted, clicking his optic shutters in huffy irritation, "I can order you to stop."

"Try it. I'll tie you to our berth and leave you to calm down."

"Slagger..." Optimus muttered unhappily back, brooding, lengthening his walking stride to keep up with his taller mate.

The physical activity did help. Some of the tension drained away with every step, but as soon as he stopped, it crept up on him again.

That night, Optimus wasn't much better. He lay curled up on the berth he shared with his bondmate, struggling to quieten his overactive processor. It was impossible. He just could not recharge. Magnus offered him comforting words and sympathy, but nothing worked. He would activate his downtime programs only to find them stuttering to a halt under the influence of his hectic CPU. Changing positions didn't help. In all his time as Autobot Commander, despite everything he had been through, he'd never felt so utterly emotionally disturbed to the point where he _couldn't_ recharge, and he suspected this was just a small taste of what he was going to experience in the months to come as the sparkling in his chest slowly matured. Eventually; in the small hours just past midnight; he found himself so restless he could no longer stay lying down, and he swung his legs over the side of the berth, sitting pensively in the darkness.

Strong hands came to rest on his shoulders from behind. The glowing but dimmed optics of Ultra Magnus watched his with concern. "Come on, it's doing you no good trying to stay still. Come outside with me."

Prime hesitated for a second, then nodded his helmeted head, giving in. Walking seemed best.

The guards patrolling the area close to the Autobots hangar showed mild interest in the sudden appearance of the two giant mechs. They were too well-trained and polite to question what their allies were up to though. They just watched silently. Optimus Prime's armor showed up as flashes of red in the dark as he strode next to his partner, with his chromed parts twinkling faintly. Ultra Magnus' black and blue armor was less distinguishable, only his silver highlights gave the barest glimpse of his giant frame. As the silent but companionable pair turned the corner of the main NEST operations hangar, Magnus pulled himself up sharply, one of his hands grabbing Prime by the arm and hauling him to a startled stop.

"Optimus...?" Major Lennox's voice came out of the darkness, the man blinking rapidly at the appearance of the two huge shapes looming in the darkness, one of his hands belatedly reaching for his rifle on his chest harness, before realising he wasn't wearing it.

"Lennox." Optimus batted at Magnus' hand to get him to let go now that he was in no danger of stepping on the man. "What are you doing out here? Are you not supposed to be at rest?"

"He's with me," Sarah Lennox's tired voice piped up next to her husband. "The baby won't stop moving, it must want to be in the circus since it's doing so many somersaults. Only walking gives me some relief." She blinked rapidly and held up a hand in front of her face as Magnus and Optimus both turned on their chest headlights at a low setting. "So, uh, what's your excuse for being up at this hour?"

Ultra Magnus squinted, thinking rapidly. Optimus Prime frowned, also thinking but coming up with zip. What were they going to say? 'Hey, Optimus is pregnant too, isn't that great? Baby Autobots, coming up! Let's party!'.

Uh, no.

"You know you guys make whirring sounds when you're thinking hard?" Will said lightly, putting his arm around Sarah's back and rubbing it. "Oh, hey, as long as you're up, would you mind walking with Sarah? I'd like to get back to bed, I'm beat," he joked, half-turning to leave his wife alone with them.

Sarah growled, smacking him. "You made half of this, mister," she gestured at her protruding belly, "you're staying!"

Will's face took on a 'whipped' look as he facing forwards again with a defeated posture. "I know," he sighed. "Half my fault, half my responsibility. I ain't going nowhere, my love."

Optimus made a digital note about that. Magnus had indeed made 'half' of the sparkling held within his chest, therefore, he should be bearing 'half' of the burden. He wished he could yank out his emotional CPU, dump it in his mate's hands so Magnus could 'walk it', and retreat to his recharge berth in peace. The thought made him chuckle.

Ultra Magnus finally got his mouthplates moving, rumbling, "We just thought stretching our hydraulics would be a good thing. Exercise. Ratchet says we don't get enough."

_::Trillions of bytes of processing power and the most advanced CPU in the universe, and the best you came up with was that?:: _Optimus sent Magnus in disbelief over their internal links.

_::Then come up with something better, Prime::_ Ultra Magnus shot back. _::Why don't you try saying 'Hey, I've got a sparkling in my chest and would you like to see it'?!::_

_::I know what would impress them – my foot up your aft.:: _Optimus responded haughtily.

_::No, something bigger than a foot up YOUR aft would be impressive:: _Ultra Magnus answered, beginning to get irritated. _::I know I'm always impressed by that.::_

_::Careful Magnus, you're turning my systems on. Didn't Ratchet say we were not allowed to interface?:: _Optimus said slyly.

_::You know, you're worse than Ironhide sometimes::_ Magnus said lightly, giving his mate a shove in his shoulder armor.

"Um... guys?" Will asked, waiting, not liking the oppressive silence.

Sarah rubbed at her tummy absently, staring up at the enormous mechs. She was getting over her initial fear of the big robots. She had felt perfectly comfortable talking to Optimus Prime the day before in her and Will's hangar, but seeing Optimus with his husband; er, sparkmate; standing together in the darkness notched up her fear again. They were both so freaking HUGE. She noticed Optimus glancing down at her hand on her midsection with interest. She thought he must be wondering what it was like to be carrying a baby. Most men were curious.

After quickly computing the logistics of informing Major Lennox what was really happening with Optimus, Ultra Magnus decided to cut his losses and run.

"We'll meet in the morning, Major. Have a nice walk. Good night, Mrs Lennox," Magnus said firmly, while taking Prime's arm and pulling him around and past the two humans.

"Huh." Will yawned and scratched at his head, watching the two Autobots disappear into the darkness. "Wonder what's up with them."

"...Eager to get back to bed?" Sarah murmured, lifting one eyebrow. "Lovers tiff, perhaps?"

Will screwed up his face in an expression of disquiet before settling on a 'stiff upper lip' approach, "I don't want to know."

"But Will, they are partners, what's wrong with that?" Sarah asked, scoffing at him.

Her husband lowered his voice, hoping that super sensitive Autobot audios wouldn't pick him up, "Robot sex, Sarah, that's what's wrong with that. Robot sex..."

"William Lennox, you are one big prude," Sarah chastised him lovingly. "I should put my foot down and insist that _you_ give Annabel the grown-up talk about what happens with girls and boys."

"Go ahead, I'll pass her along to Ratchet for that one," Lennox announced triumphantly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Baby Blunder**

**Authors Note: **I'm so sorry this took so long to update! I am! I was totally stuck on the first half of this and it took ages for my brain to re-boot the plot and get on with it.

**Chapter 8**

**Diego Garcia, NEST base, the small hours of the morning...**

Ultra Magnus blinked his optics up at the ceiling, noting the exact time of the morning it was on his chronometer. Early. Very early. Far too early to put up with the hand that was currently rubbing up and down his chest, traversing his armored abdomen and heading downwards towards his -

"Optimus!" Magnus hissed, plucking up the hand that was on top of his crotch and holding it out to the side. "You need to be resting!"

The azure optics of his all-too-handsome sparkmate innocently glowed down at him. The combined glow of their optics lit up the delectable planes and arches of Prime's regal and ever-gorgeous faceplates. It was hard for Ultra Magnus to keep his own hands to himself when faced with the alluring presence of his mech mate, but knowing what precious gift the Autobot Commander was harbouring within his chest kept his urges at bay – mostly. Optimus; on the other hand; was never one to suppress his urges when he was on the berth he shared with his partner and away from the optics of his soldiers.

"I am resting," Optimus responded indignantly, sweeping one of his hands down his body to indicate his supine position. "I am on our berth with you, am I not? I apologise for disturbing your rest. Perhaps if you continue to lie still and be quiet, I can do the work for both of us. You rest, I'll play." So saying, Prime yanked his hand from the other mechs grip and planted it on his chest. "Just allow me to-"

Magnus shook his head frantically, drawing himself up against the head of the berth, "NO. I can't! Optimus, the sparkling-"

"Have I ever told you that whoever shoved that stick up your aft needs court-martialling?" Optimus said reproachfully. He stealthily inserted the fingers of his other hand under Ultra Magnus' crotch armor, getting the tips of his fingers into the slim gaps and just touching the prize. The big blue and black mech jerked in surprise and almost leapt off the berth.

"Stop that!" Magnus put one hand on Prime's shoulder and pushed backwards. "You're with sparkling! Stop feeling me up! If you keep aggravating me like this I won't be able to stop myself from jumping you!"

"Really?" Optimus said with far too much delight. "Then let me continue." His hand reached out again. He didn't know about Magnus, but he was absolutely desperate for an interface. His desires were keeping him awake. Just one. Just a quick one...

Swearing, Magnus grabbed both of his mates hands and held them still between their bodies. "Yesterday you were shoving me off the berth and growling at me, and now you have your hands all over me and want to interface?! That is one lightning quick change of attitude you've got going there!"

"Yes, it is, now please take advantage of it," Optimus insisted, trying to squirm his hands out of Magnus' iron grip, wanting to get back to touching that utterly delightful body that Magnus had. He really was a gorgeous mech. So pretty, all blue, black and silver...

Impulsively, Prime leant forward and pressed his mouth to that of his sparkmate.

"MmmphhH!" Magnus struggled to not give in. It did not help that Optimus was a _very_ good kisser. Fragger.

Prime kept kissing, beginning to push his mech mate onto his back. When dealing with a mech of Prime's strength, he was hard to resist. "I love your aft, and the rest of you, you know I do," Prime murmured in a sultry tone between kisses, "Let me touch you, please?"

Magnus gasped out when his mouth was free for one microsecond, "NO!"

Another kiss.

"Optimus, STO-"

More kissing.

"Frag it... I give in."

Magnus let go of Prime's hands and threaded his fingers underneath the red and blue mechs shoulder armor instead, caressing cables, touching bundles of wires. Enjoying the moment. Prime gripped the back of Magnus' helmet armor and pulled him in closer, rumbling deeply with contentment within his chest.

Optimus suddenly yelped and jerked back when a sharp kick rebounded off his spark chamber. "What the..?!" He put a hand to his chest, staring at Magnus with pure surprise. "I think... I think... I just got kicked!"

"Kicked?" Magnus was confused. He propped himself up on his elbows. "Oh! The sparkling! It can do that now?"

Another hearty smack to Prime's spark chamber had the Autobot Commander wincing, "Oww. No, not there, not right there, that is my spark, little one. You should not be kicking it." He rubbed a hand over his chestplating.

As Optimus crouched on his knees upon the berth, Magnus lay on his front and propped his chin into one hand and mused, watching him. "I didn't think, I mean, I guess, I didn't know it was that far along to have legs yet," he asked.

"He – or she – has legs now. I think my spark chamber has a dent in it," Optimus murmured, his optics blinking. "This is so peculiar. Is this what femmes go through?" He hissed when another 'Hello Sire!' kick jolted his spark. "This hurts!" Another hefty kick. "Uh, how do we make it stop?"

Ultra Magnus looked doubtful. He sat up on his aft, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. "I don't think there's any way we can – or should. Moving must mean it's healthy. I think..."

Optimus went to reply, but another blow to his spark casing had him making a face and blinking his optic shutters rapidly. "That one was hard. It MUST be a mech in there." Prime put an accusing finger in Magnus' faceplates, "It kicks as hard as you do!"

Magnus smirked haughtily, "And that's a bad thing, how? 'Cons don't come back once I've kicked them."

"When my spark chamber is in the firing line!"

"Oh, right."

Optimus blocked out the blows to his inner workings and hastily opened a comlink connection to Ratchet. ::_Ratchet, this is Optimus. Are you awake?_::

After a moments hesitation the CMO replied in a sarcastic tone, ::_Of course I am. I'm always up and about at four in the morning, especially for carrying mechs who want ask me if I'm awake!_::

Prime winced and consoled himself by reaching under Ultra Magnus and pressing his palm to his mates delectable chest. Magnus growled and removed it, hissing about 'no interfacing'. Optimus returned his attention to Ratchet. :_:Er... the sparkling. Our sparkling. It's kicking my spark chamber. Hard. Is that normal? Acceptable?_::

A grunt came from the CMO. ::_Humph. Yes. I'm guessing that most femmes would not be carrying such a powerful sparkling in their chests. The combination of you and Magnus has – I think – produced a remarkably_ _strong little one._:: Prime got the feeling that Ratchet was delighted with this little bit of news. :_:Congratulations. But if it would make you feel more at ease, come and see me at 0700. I'll check you over.::_

Optimus' head dropped down. ::_Fine. Thanks._:: He began to cut off the link then remembered what else he had to ask. ::_Ratchet, is it okay for Magnus to interface me?_::

In his own room, Ratchet blinked his optics. Several times. ::_And this is important for you to know right now, why?:_:

Ultra Magnus; who had been furtively listening in to the conversation; grinned and rolled himself over onto his back, folding his arms underneath his head, flexing his huge shoulders and arching up his chest plating. A pose he knew really turned his mate on. If Ratchet told him 'no, keep your hands to yourself', Optimus was going to be very disgruntled and snarky. Him acting enticing but untouchable would be payback for the strange things Prime had put him through with this sparkling already.

:_:Interface all you want, just DON'T spark merge or even open your chestplates. Doing that would be dangerous to you and your sparkling. Magnus, I know you're listening in when you shouldn't be, please interface_ _your mate until he can't walk without staggering, maybe then he'll refrain from waking me this early in the morning for a NON-emergency.:_: Ratchet shut his comlink down with a squeal of cut lines.

Optimus closed his comlink. He slowly turned around to stare at his mech mate with glistening optics and a feral expression of 'I. Want. You. NOW~!' on his faceplates.

Magnus braced himself for Prime's erotic assault. He was going to be going for it, _hard_. "Oh slag... OWW! Watch the antennae! Watch the ant – oh._ Ohhh..._ that's nice. Right there. Heh. You're good at that, aren't you?"

_**Later that morning...**_

Sgt. Epps came loping out of the common shower block, wearing the type of teeny shorts that Will was fond of and wiping at the sides of his face after washing off most of the grime on his body. He was relaxed. Happy. He'd just completed his weekly morning run, and he felt much better for it. That feeling disappeared when he noticed Optimus Prime's huge male partner come walking past with a distinct hitch and pause to his walking steps. The Cybertronian Field Commander was wincing with each stride. His thighs were held apart further than normal. Epps frowned, his brain suggesting why the mech was walking so oddly. He looked like a woman who'd been on her back all night with her legs spread wide...

Oh. Oh _shit_...

Major Lennox walked out of the shower block, wiping at his wet hair. "Epps, what about if we conducted a few drills on-" his words cut off and he yelped as Epps grabbed his shoulders, turned him around, and began pushing away from where Ultra Magnus was tenderly creeping his way along the tarmac. "Epps! What was that for?!"

"You don't wanna know. Don't ask and your brain won't get messed up. Walk." Epps pointed at a distant hangar. "Thata way."

By the time the afternoon operations meeting came along, the big black, blue and silver mech was back to walking much more normally, and Optimus Prime was pottering around the base and checking on everyone in a far better mood than he had been for the past few weeks. He was doing well enough to take part in the afternoon operations meeting with General Morshower. Galloway was occupied elsewhere – thank Primus – so Optimus was enjoying being back in the loop once more, even if it meant boring things like budgets, reviews, and tactical planning. Only problem was, the sparkling began another round of energetic kicking, something that began innocently enough, with Optimus able to minimise his reactions to the odd minor wince. But things didn't stop there. Along with the kicking came surges of a crippling ache just underneath his spark chamber, where the sparkling itself was sitting and maturing.

When it got to the stage were even Ultra Magnus was feeling the harsh echoes over the sparklink he shared with his mate, things became dire. Even worse, Optimus was being put through pain the likes of which he hadn't felt in eons. He began to worry that this pain was a lot more than just 'kicking'.

Major Lennox became suspicious at the way Optimus was slowly leaning over and favoring his abdomen and chest more and more as the minutes ticked by. The man was sure something was going down. He wondered if it had anything to do with the 'mysterious illness' Prime was allegedly suffering from that had Magnus and Ironhide sharing NEST Command with him.

::_Optimus, end this, you're in pain._:: Magnus commed internally to his suffering mate. ::_This seems like MORE than just kicking to me_.::

:_:Magnus, don't. It's the kicking. I just have to-- _:: Optimus broke off to wince and shudder, :: -- _get accustomed to it as the femmes do._::

But Magnus had finally had enough. He cut off Morshower mid-discussion. "That's it, this is over. Prime, I'm getting you to medbay. General Morshower, please excuse us. I believe Optimus is in no fit state to continue this meeting with the amount of pain he is currently in," he stated firmly, his worry over his mate increasing rapidly. Leaving the worried humans behind, Magnus commed an emergency to Ratchet and rushed his pain-stricken mate to the medbay. Lennox trailed after them, worried, and a little shocked. What on Earth was wrong with Optimus?! He was determined that this time, he was getting answers.

In the medbay, Ratchet found the problem and the whole drama to be a small blocked fuel line. The sparkling had been trying to suck in fuel from Prime's systems using a blocked line, and although it was very painful, the sparkling would have ceased abusing that line after a few more hours, and created a new one all by itself. All normal and fine, but very painful for Optimus to go through.

Lennox paced back and forth in front of the medbay doors. Ratchet had curtly locked him out, deigning Prime's situation to be private and non-official. Inside the medbay, with Optimus resting, Ultra Magnus and Ratchet had decided the time had come to tell NEST about Prime's situation. They couldn't rely on avoiding giving answers or brushing things off as no problem any longer.

Will looked up as the medbay doors opened. Ratchet was standing there with a frown on his faceplates.

"Come in Major, there are a few things that Optimus and Magnus would like to discuss with you," the CMO stated evenly.

Lennox stared up at him, "Is Optimus -"

"Prime is fine. He had a small blocked fuel line that was causing him a lot of pain, and I repaired it for him," the yellow-green Hummer stared down at the human, "and please, come inside. You need to be informed of a few things and now is the time."

Ratchet turned away to go back inside, leaving Lennox yelping and rushing to catch up with him before the giant bot-sized doors slammed shut. Inside, Will found Optimus sitting calmly on a medbench. The bigger male; Ultra Magnus; was standing next to him with his hand on his mates shoulder. They both looked up at his entrance.

"Optimus? Are you okay?" Lennox asked, his eyebrows pulled down over his eyes with concern. "I couldn't help but notice that you were in a great deal of pain, back there." He accepted Ratchet's polite invitation to get a lift up to the medbench, standing in the medics palm and trying not to over-balance and disgrace himself as he was set down next to the stricken Autobot Commander. "Is there anything I, or NEST, can do for you?"

"Will, I am perfectly fine, thank you for your concern. I did not mean for our meeting to be interrupted in this manner but things couldn't be helped." Prime's gentle blue gaze settled on the man. "Thank you for your offer of assistance. I know you have no clue what is happening to me, and I do apologise for keeping you uninformed." The mech shared a glance with his massive mate then looked back at Lennox. "Magnus and I have decided that now is the time to reveal our.. er..." Prime appeared to fish around for the correct turn of words, "...dilemma."

"Dilemma?" Will echoed. He wasn't sure about this. It didn't feel good. Something strange was going down. He'd never seen Optimus this flustered before. Heck, he hadn't thought Prime would know _how_ to be flustered!

"Yes," Optimus confirmed. His demeanour changed from warm and casual to formal. His whole upper torso lifted so he was sitting straight upright with dignity. "Major, we'd like to be the first to inform you of a new addition to our ranks."

"Really?" Will tried to keep up with the subject change. A new addition? Oh, Prime must mean new Autobots arriving. Fair enough. He asked, "New landings?"

Ultra Magnus came around the bench so he was standing in front of him. Will was used to Prime's huge size but he was still adjusting to Magnus being bigger still. He instinctively wanted to cringe and duck for cover.

Magnus dimmed his optics and gave Lennox a sympathetic glance, he knew what was coming was going to rattle the human man. "No Major, not a LANDING as such. Unless the new one has wings and we have to catch it, but that wouldn't be right because neither I nor Optimus have wings."

Will faltered and went bug-eyed. "What? Why do we have to catch this Autobot? Are they damaged? Can't they fly?" If the new arrival was too dim-witted to make a landing without help, may God help them. Intelligent aliens were hard enough to handle, how much worse would dumb ones be? He knew Mudflap and Skids were a nightmare to work with, any more like them and he was going to plead the fifth and retire to a nice home in Florida.

Optimus bowed his head and stared at his knees before meeting Will's gaze again. It might be better if he was more direct. "We will shortly have a new Autobot sparkling here at NEST."

"Wait," Lennox brought his hands up in front of him, screwing up his face and thinking hard, "Uh... don't you guys call 'babies' sparklings?"

Optimus pondered that for a second, "Yes." _Primus Lennox, you have no idea, do you?_

With his brain catching up to the conversation and making a few common sense deductions, Will grinned broadly. One of the female Autobots was pregnant. That he understood! He had _zip_ idea how this was happening, how on Earth robots could carry babies at all he didn't understand, but he could handle it. Roll with the punches. Or so he thought... "Great! Wonderful! Which one of the lucky girls is carrying it?"

Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus exchanged a nervous glance that put Will on his back foot again.

Optimus grimaced, "I'm not sure how to explain this..."

Lennox got the wrong impression from the big Commander. His brain went off on its own down a different path once more. Optimus had knocked up one of the female Autobots. Right. He must have been hiding it from them all because he was embarrassed. Whatever. "You're the father?! Even better! Go Optimus!" he said with bright enthusiasm.

Shaking his head, Magnus stepped in, "Lennox, he is not the sire, er, 'father'. I am."

Once again, Will's brain zoomed in on the wrong direction. "Whoops, my bad. Congratulations Magnus! You must be proud!"

Magnus inclined his head in acceptance, "Thank you," while Will began to think that if Magnus was the father, how freaking big was this baby going to be?!

Lennox was oblivious to what the real situation was, and tried to keep the happy banter coming, "C'mon, tell me, who is the lucky woman?"

Magnus - keeping his face absolutely deadpan – pointed directly at Optimus Prime in a no-nonsense fashion. "He is."

"Huh?" Lennox began to look behind Optimus Prime. There was no femme there. "What? You mean, a femme behind Optimus? I don't see anyone." Yes, the females were half the size of the gigantic Cybertronian males but he couldn't see a femme back there.

Magnus braced himself. "There is no femme behind Optimus, I assure you. The femme IS Optimus."

Lennox fluttered his eyelids so hard that Ratchet scanned him for damage. "I don't... get it. You're saying..." the man's voice broke into a shriek, "OPTIMUS IS A GIRL?!?!"

"I am no girl, Lennox!" Prime growled, offended, his metallic skin flashing as he leant forwards, his heavy armor creaking from the change in position, "Please calm down! Magnus, help me out here!"

Ultra Magnus nodded, quite relaxed. Prime knew from experience that the more stupid or freaky something became, the more Magnus' battle instincts kicked in and he retained an aura of un-Godly calm. Magnus nodded bravely, "Sure. When two bots decide to form a partnership -"

Prime held his hands up and made the universal 'stop' signal, "NOT THAT! I mean, we have to, uh, how to," he gestured between himself and his male sparkmate, trying to think what to say. He gave up. This conversation had gone to the pit a while back. "Slag it. In your Earth terms I'm pregnant and the baby is mine. Lennox, please deal with it. Magnus, your office, now. I have a strange need to be flat on my back and groaning a lot."

This time Magnus broke out with a broad smirk. He liked Optimus in this sort of mood; randy and flustered. "Sure. Please excuse us." The two mechs tramped out of the medbay and left a gawking, stuttering, flabbergasted Major Lennox to Ratchet's tender mercies.

Ratchet snorted, turning to tidy up his splayed out tools, "Don't look at me, I've tried not to think about it too hard, and who on Cybertron has the power to stop those two from fragging each other in any case? Roll with it, that's what I say."


	9. Chapter 9

**Baby Blunder**

Authors Note: Has anyone else realised as an interesting fact that when the Open Office program spellchecks 'Obama', it suggests 'Osama' as the proper spelling? ROFL. Oh dear... not very politically correct, is it? Late update here! Very late! I'm sorry, I must whip my own aft more and get things done. My bad. Please enjoy this very long chappie, and thank you to those that reviewed the last chapter. Very much appreciated.

**Chapter 9**

_**The beach, late summer, NEST base, Diego Garcia...**_

"I want a hug."

Ultra Magnus blinked his blue optics at the sudden request from his big mechly sparkmate. His big, mechly, and very much pregnant, sparkmate. Optimus Prime. Supreme Autobot Commander. Soon to add 'mother' to his impressive list of credentials. Magnus had been sitting quietly on the sandhill overlooking the beach, watching the ebb and flow of the sea, relaxing with Optimus on his left side, the smaller mech every so often rubbing his shoulder into Magnus as a sign of affection. Both mechs were sitting on their afts with their arms resting comfortably on their pulled up knees.

"You do?" Magnus asked, a quizzical expression on his face.

Optimus nodded affirmatively, pressed the back of his helmeted head into Magnus' chest and tilted his head back so he could peer up at his partner in a comely fashion. "Oh yes. Want one. Want one _now_."

"Uh, well, alright. I guess, if no one is looking... you can." Fighting to keep from laughing out loud, a bemused Magnus opened his left arm out to the side so Prime could snuggle in, which the other mech did with a whispering sigh and a few grunts. Optimus contentedly pulled Magnus' strong thick arms even tighter around his torso, enjoying the moment. Enjoying the hug. Being held against the huge broad chest of his bigger mate always put him at ease. It was a big enough demonstration of love from the normally reserved Ultra Magnus that made his spark flutter happily with joy.

"Is this another of your mood swings? Acting like a love deprived sparkling and wanting hugs?" Magnus asked softly, reaching out with his finger and lovingly poking Optimus in his noseplates so that the Autobot Commander flinched and playfully batted his own hand back at him. Magnus smiled, rumbling, "I thought I'd get used to all this weirdness by now, but I'm still adjusting."

"It is not weird to want comfort, Magnus," Prime responded, rubbing the side of his faceplates into the warm metal of his mate like a newly in-love youngling. "The humans do it all the time, why shouldn't we?"

Ultra Magnus cocked his head, "Speaking of humans... do I hear Lennox screaming about something?"

"I hear it too..." Optimus put his normal expression back on and lifted himself up enough so he could take a peek over Magnus' shoulder. "Here they come."

The yelling was coming from an upset Major Lennox being caged in one hand by a disgruntled Ironhide. The broody black mech stomped his way with long strides over the sandhill, spraying sand everywhere and heading for the beach in front of them with a very pissed off Will Lennox screaming for mercy – with a few rarely heard swear words thrown in when the human man realised that nothing was going to stop the great Ironhide from dumping his ass in the sea.

"No! Stop! Ironhide, you dumbass, don't do th-"

Ironhide simply extended his arm out over the breaking waves and opened his fingers, letting Lennox crash downwards mid-sentence into the water in an awkward belly flop. While Will came up out of the sea gasping and shrieking, Ironhide bent over to get into his face. "If I ever hear you say something like that to Sarah again, you will be dropped from a greater height and onto something not as forgiving as water. Show respect for your sparkmate, Lennox." Ironhide then swung around and began stomping back the way he had arrived. He paused at the stunned looks on the faces of Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime, halting to say distinctly to them, "Retribution. He offended Sarah," before moving on.

"I DID NOT CALL HER FAT~!" Lennox yelled, smacking the water with his arms in anger, "I only said she's got a belly big enough to carry twins! It was a _joke_!"

Trudging his way back to the base buildings, Ironhide didn't respond. He disappeared into the distance.

Major Lennox stood in the chest deep water and met the befuddled stares of Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime with a scowl. "Bloody aliens, what would you know about a woman being pregnant? Sarah and I were having a laugh over how big she is right now! She wasn't offended! I share her pain!" Will's expression dropped when it hit him what he'd just said, and to whom. "Oh. Uh... sorry Optimus. I guess, um, you do know what its like to... um..." He blushed, hating how much he was stuttering and fumbling. "Sorry."

Magnus shook his head and sighed while Optimus chuckled.

Prime smiled, "No offence taken, Major. Ironhide is very protective of females. If he discerned the slightest insult in your words towards Sarah – intended or not – he can get very angry, as you now know," Optimus said, watching as Will struggled his way out of the water with his soaked combat pants, boots and shirt weighing him down.

Lennox grumbled and made faces as he stood on the beach and began stripping down to just his combat pants only, shucking everything else and then rolling up his pants to his knees. The summer heat would dry him pretty quickly. "Yeah. I noticed that when I got abducted and tossed." He ran his hand over his head to wipe the water away, staring at Prime being cuddled by Magnus. Now that was an image that hurt his brain. Since when did anyone 'cuddle', Optimus Prime? "I'm sorry we disturbed your alone time. I know how hard it is to get that."

While Magnus looked slightly abashed at being caught with his arms around his mate in public, Optimus smiled openly. "It is true that we don't get much alone time, and since our little one has developed a taste for demolishing my internals with the kind of powerful kicks that Magnus is famous for, being truly alone with just the two of us is not realistic."

"Three of us," Magnus corrected him, putting his big hand over Prime's vibrantly flamed red-and-blue chest and patting it.

Lennox squinted at them, "You've traded throwing up for being pummelled, huh? You should talk to my dear wife about that. She's having troubles too. The baby is turning itself around so it's head is engaged in her pelvis, and it is kicking every inch of her that it can get to while it does that." The man made motions with his hands of turning a baby in mid-air, "It's getting ready for the birth. Our babies come out head first, not feet first."

Optimus looked down at his chest where the sparkling was housed under his spark. He silently put his hand on his metal.

Seeing what his mate was obviously thinking about, Magnus spoke up. "Our sparklings are sparked – uh, _born_, as you say – by emerging from our chests." The huge black, blue and silver mech rubbed at his forehead as he spoke, "At least, Ratchet says that is what the ancient medical records say about mechs giving birth. Even in femmes, the sparkling comes out through their midsection. Cybertronians have no experience with sparklings emerging between our legs."

Prime's optics widened as he listened to what Magnus was saying. Dear Primus, he didn't want to entertain the idea of his sparkling being born through his crotch and between his legs. He liked his male bits in his groin just the way they were. He couldn't contemplate his equipment being destroyed so that their little one could come into the world. He also guessed that Magnus would be distraught to find his mech mate turned into a sexless drone, or what the humans referred to as a eunuch.

"Whichever way the babies come out, I can guess that it is painful," Lennox agreed. He gathered his wet clothing under one arm and gave them a mutated form of a salute turned into a wave. "See you round, boys."

Ultra Magnus swivelled his head to watch the human Major trot off home. Optimus relaxed and fitted his head into a small hollow between his mate's shoulder and neck armor, looking out to sea.

"Please remind me to get off planet on the quickest ship out of here if Ironhide ever decides to have a sparkling of his own. I don't think any of us would escape having our heads blown off whenever we even _thought_ something offensive about his offspring," Magnus said with shake of his head.

"And you don't think that Ironhide hasn't already said they same sort of thing about you, hmm?" Prime murmured lazily. He was tired. A power nap was in order. As the sparkling in his chest grew in size, his reserves of strength and endurance were shrinking from their previously impressive levels.

"I don't blow bots heads off! I just rip them off, make them listen to a few strict rules, then stick them back on. How is that any worse than Ironhide? At least I give them back when he doesn't," Magnus retorted.

"Nevermind..." Optimus grumbled, rolling his royal blue optics in their casings, thinking, _Way to go and blow the romantic snuggling, afthead._

_**One week later, in the early afternoon...**_

Optimus Prime (with a softly swollen pregnant chest) and Sarah Lennox (with a huge pregnant belly), both stood by the side of the tarmac and watched the C-17 carrying their loved ones (Ultra Magnus and Major Will Lennox) take off for a rendezvous with a mission in Italy. The possible threat of a lone Constructicon being uncovered in Italy had the Italian Prime Minister screaming at the American President about the safety of his country from dangerous aliens. President Obama had in turn had serious words with his Defence Secretary, who had serious words with NEST Command, who made the serious decision to despatch their best available team to Italy. Hence, Magnus and Lennox being shipped off.

No one in the NEST command chain could make themselves front up to President Obama and inform him with a straight face that the male, alien, robot, Autobot Commander was in fact pregnant and could not be deployed. And if they did have the strength of constitution and will to do so, they still couldn't because that was a secret not allowed to be revealed to anyone outside of NEST. So instead, Obama was informed that Optimus Prime wasn't feeling very well that day (diesel indigestion) and his place was to be taken by his equally powerful and intimidating deputy, Ultra Magnus.

Bye-bye Ultra Magnus, bye-bye Major Will Lennox. Don't forget your Italian Dictionary.

Sarah held up one hand and waved sadly as the plane rolled past them at take-off speed on the ground and began to climb into the air. "Bye Will, stay safe for me. I'll be waiting." She slid her hand lovingly over her swollen tummy, "_We'll_ be waiting."

Optimus remained silent, choosing to stand and stare after the plane carrying his sparkmate long after it had covered enough distance to disappear from even his fine-tuned optics. He could feel the heavy and cloistered presence of his mech mate over their sparkbond. Magnus was weighed down with the peculiar and strong sensation of feeling regretful and worried at leaving behind his sparkling-carrying mate. This was a first for the huge black, blue and silver mech. Normally, Ultra Magnus was rarely unsettled by the remote thought that his sparkmate may be injured or hurt, since Optimus was a legendary warrior and one of the best fighters on all of Cybertron (besides Magnus himself, who was often referred to as the Autobot's Greatest Warrior), and there wasn't much that could threaten Prime's well-being when it came to battle. But Optimus carrying a sparkling had ignited new and frustrating feelings in Ultra Magnus, since there was more at stake now than just themselves. The little sparkling they had inadvertently created was a new worry, and their responsibility. They both had to live and stay safe for the little one.

"Optimus?"

Prime turned himself around to look down at the small human female. In doing so, he flinched. Primus, when had it gotten so difficult to look down at the ground past his protruding chest? "Yes Sarah?"

The woman smiled, shielding her eyes from the hot sun so she could look up at his face, "Arcee is looking after Annabel for the afternoon, so perhaps we can use this time without our men to spend some time together? We are, after all, both about to become mothers."

"I concur. Get yourselves out of this Primus forsaken heat and chatter away like chipless femmes, you two." Ratchet came striding up behind Optimus in all his lime green glory, giving both of his patients a disgruntled look along with a light medscan each. "Go on, get." The ill-tempered but good-sparked medic propped his fists on his hips and watched as Optimus shook his head and kneeled in front of Sarah to offer her transport out of the heat via the palm of his hand. "And both of you come by and see me this evening. With both of your impending births approaching, I wish to discuss the plans we have for each of you when the time arrives to pop your little gifts into the unprepared world."

Sarah gracefully settled herself bum first into Prime's steady hand, comfortably arranging her skirt around herself then patting his metal when she was properly seated and good to go. Optimus drew himself upright with his precious cargo and gave his annoying CMO a sour look. "Little gifts?"

Ratchet snorted, waving his hand, "I apologise. Should I have used the term 'hellspawns' instead?"

Before Optimus could make a fiery retort, Sarah put herself out in front of the verbal sparring. "I know just the mech that I am going to dump my giggling, pooing, head-spinning, vomit-propelling, tantrum-throwing, snot-generating, smelly-nappy baby on when I want a day off to myself, don't you agree, Optimus?" Sarah said smoothly, giving Ratchet the sweetest smile ever.

"Oh, I confess that I must completely agree with your assessment, Mrs Lennox," Optimus Prime openly smirked, "or in military speak, I concur with your mission statement and I agree to move forwards with your strafing run, ASAP." He walked past a glaring Ratchet with a graceful smile to match Sarah's sweet expression.

Ratchet scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, doing his best you-can't-faze-this-medic glare as the mech and woman walked away. Then his expression lightened and his thick shoulders drooped as he muttered to himself and headed back to his medical domain, "Mother-units are hell no matter what species they come from."

Carrying Sarah as if she were the most precious cargo in history, Optimus let her guide him to a suitable place for them to chat, which ended up being in the shade up against the outer wall of the supply hangar where a cooling sea breeze was beginning to sweep over the island base. Prime produced a soft gel cushion from his subspace pocket (usually meant for stabilising a field injury) for her to sit on.

Mrs Lennox was just settling herself down when she went still, grimacing and making a sharp exclamation. "Oh! Oww..."

Optimus sent her an understanding glance. "Kicking?"

"Humph, more like belting with the force of an angry elephant," Sarah grumbled. "I think my bladder has a hole in it now. Babies have no manners."

"Ah yes, I have found that to be very true. One of my fuel filters is being compressed by my sparkling and letting through half-utilised fuel, resulting in me, emitting unusual odours occasionally when I recharge. Magnus is not impressed and I do not think he quite believes me when I blame our sparkling," Optimus told her as he stretched his long legs out in front of him, relaxing. He wished he had more opportunities to talk with the human woman. He felt calm and content to be discussing reproduction with someone who had already done it once, and was going through it a second time at the same stage as his own unborn sparkling was.

Sarah gave him a surprised look, "I didn't know your species could even, er, well, to put it bluntly – fart."

Optimus decoded that word in a microsecond, and began laughing hard, making his air intakes rattle. "We do have an exhaust system, Sarah. Our gases have to go somewhere just the same as yours do, and Ratchet took great glee in telling me that our emissions contain a percentage of methane just likes yours do."

"Oh dear." Sarah covered her nose with both hands and snorted a giggle. "Very unfortunate. You will give me warning when you feel you're about to let one go, won't you? I mean, you are very big, it would be very... _not nice_ to be in your personal space."

"Never fear," Prime let his thighs relax so each of his legs was turned outwards with his feet pointing at forty-five degrees. He clasped his hands together in his lap. Getting comfy, "Unlike you, I can seal that end of me and let my gases pass in more private moments. It is only when I am recharging and do not have concious control that social blunders happen." He smirked. "Much to Magnus' disgust, I assure you."

"Hey, husbands have to learn to put up with the good AND the bad. We're not all angels." Sarah smoothed down her pretty red dress over her big tummy. "Has Ratchet told you the gender of your baby?"

"Sparkling," Optimus corrected her gently, "and no, he has not. Nor have we asked for him to. It would ruin the surprise."

The woman smiled wryly, "As if being male and finding out you're pregnant isn't a big enough surprise, huh? Ratchet knows what I have but I have asked him to keep it a secret. Will doesn't want to know in advance and neither do I." She reached out and stretched to reach his metal skin, giving him a pat on his hip, "No more throwing up?"

Optimus laughed ruefully, "No, no more of that, thankfully. Magnus has kept a dump container in our quarters, ready for him to grab if he gets the faintest indication that I may eject. I have disappointed him by feeling quite well."

"Thank God for that... I'm glad for you."

The big mech and the small woman sat together companionably for a few minutes. Each watching the beginning of a summer storm appearing on the horizon.

Sarah pushed her tangled blonde hair back from her face and looked up at him, "Will it hurt?"

Understanding what she was referring to, Optimus bowed his head, running a forefinger over the middle of his strained chest plating. "Ratchet says it will but he cannot accurately predict how much. He says it depends on a lot of things and he has not assisted a mech with a delivery before." The powerful mech shrugged, "As you may guess, I am no stranger to pain. It does not unduly worry me. I will cope satisfactorily." He looked down at her. "And you?"

"Oh yeah. Lots of it. Yelling, shouting, hitting Will, crying," Sarah nodded her head to each word of misery she expressed, "but Ratchet says he may be able to help with that. He says he'll interrupt my pain nerve impulses by transmitting a mild sonic block to my lower spine to dull them." She wrinkled her nose, "I'm looking forward to a pain-free experience this time! Apart from the neverending joy of trying to push something huge through a little stubborn hole, that is"

"You have my sympathy." Optimus rubbed at his cheekplate and looked up at the sky, "The Allspark was a much better way of reproducing. I do miss it."

"Optimus... may I ask you something about your relationship with Magnus? That is, if you don't mind me prying just a little," Sarah said carefully, giving him a soft smile.

He nodded, not fussed, "You may ask."

"Oh, thank you. What was it that attracted you to him, and when did you know that you loved him? I'm just trying to understand about your relationship with him. I've watched you and him together, sometimes. I know Will and I are not perfect but we get along and learn as we go. I was wondering how you and Magnus handle everything that is thrown at you considering the tough circumstances you end up in."

"Hmm." Prime's optics brightened. It wasn't often that he got to discuss his love and adoration for the massive and towering mech that he had bonded to. Happiness flooded his quickening spark. "We met several hundred thousand years ago. Shortly after he first came online, he dedicated himself to the Autobot cause and began urging others to do the same, getting together units of soldiers to help him serve me and the Autobots. Fighting for us. It was a while before we ever met faceplate-to-faceplate. I was used to exchanging transmissions with him and it was only when he started getting up Ironhide's aft - he and Magnus can barely tolerate each other - that I finally physically met him." Optimus smiled, "I was definitely attracted to him. He is a handsome mech. So handsome that I mistakenly thought he would have a huge ego to go with his looks, like Sideswipe or Sunstreaker."

"Who?" Sarah asked, confused. Will had told her who all the Autobots were but she was terrible with names and faces.

"Sideswipe, the silver sports car? He has an ego that arrives before he does?" Optimus explained patiently. Any other Transformer would have gotten irritated that the simple human woman was apparently too inept to understand names and alt mode types, but that was Prime being his usual patient and kind self.

"That one, right. He speeds too," Sarah nodded.

"Yes, I will have to speak to him about that – again," Optimus growled, then lightened his tone when he returned to discussing his sparkmate, "Magnus didn't have a huge ego. He didn't have _any_ ego, period. He was quiet, strong, gorgeous, irresistible, enormously kind and caring, and the evil mech made me chase him for many of your Earth years before I could get my hands on him. But once I had him," a predatory and satisfied smile stretched itself across his faceplates, "I made him mine."

Optimus Prime forgot in his happy rambling to tell Sarah about the moment when he knew he loved the other mech. She didn't mind. It made her happy to provide him with someone who would listen to him talk about his beloved sparkmate.

When Ultra Magnus and Major Lennox arrived back at the base in the late hours of the morning before the sun had begun to rise, Sarah hugged her husband and kissed his cheek in relief over and over again, while sneaking looks over his shoulder at the 'Hello, I'm back' that Optimus was receiving from Ultra Magnus. The taller male Autobot had drawn Optimus tight against his body and was dominantly taking hold of his mouth with his own in a way that demonstrated that while Ultra Magnus wasn't so good at being openly romantic, he certainly knew how to make his 'husband' almost melt into the ground with a powerful, weak-at-the-hydraulics, kiss. Magnus was clutching his near-whimpering pregnant mate to him in the pouring summer rain under the harsh glare of the landing strip spotlights – rainwater streaming down their entwined metallic bodies - and letting him know how much he had missed him and worried about him while he had been absent on a mission. Protocol be damned. It was time for a dose of I-Love-You and a return serve of I-Love-You-Right-Back.

Standing with his dented rifle in one hand and his duffelbag slung over one shoulder, Sergeant Epps shook his head, "Man, that kiss is putting Scarlett and Rhett's kiss in 'Gone In The Wind' ta shame. Those dudes are smokin'!"

"Yes, can someone make them stop before I purge?" Ratchet muttered, his head bowed while he covered his optics with one embarrassed hand.

"You're worse than I am, Ratch," Lennox smirked.

The other soldiers, tarmac crew, and even the other Autobots, all quietly vacated the area and left the big mechs to themselves. They deserved it.


End file.
